From tears to laughter, by Funmi Komolafe
Inside Gusau’s ‘rotten’ NFF, by Patrick Omorodion

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My best friend’s hubby by fancies
I’ve fancied my best friend’s hubby for a long time and some times have erotic dreams with him doing all sorts of things to me. We’re all neighbours and are always popping in to see each other, My husband and my friend work with the same bank, though in different departments.
Where did my son get this habit?
We sent all our children to reputable schools both for their secondary and post-secondary education and my 35-year-old son said he picks up taking drugs from one of his schools abroad. It was a very frightening period for us as he battled drugs addiction without any success.
EXTERNAL DEBT: AT WHAT COST?
“On the domestic front, we also recall the rapid accumulation of local debts particularly through bond issuance by almost N2000bn within four years, without recourse for NASS approval. There is practically nothing to show for these loans, and it seems that these loans were incurred specifically for non-tangible purposes with dubious and immeasurable yardsticks!
Yar’Adua: The hole in the zero of nothing
Various sectors of the economy are on strike or about to start one; people are hungry and angry. How does this government propose to lead Nigeria out of this state of unrelieving pain? It says one thing today and another tomorrow, ambles forward an inch and engages the reverse gear for a mile, almost in the same breath.
Who is our U-17 Captain?
“Needless to tell you that Nigeria is not here. Although we are automatic qualifiers for the World Cup as host, this is a competition that has become our birthright in Africa only for coach Alphonsus Dike and his hapless squad to get us knocked out by Benin.
N-Delta battles sectional arrogance
When people from the Niger Delta and other Nigerians raised their voices in protest, government sources were quoted by Vanguard of Thursday, July 23, 2009 as saying: “Those who do not want the project to be sited in the North should have a rethink because there is absolutely nothing they can do to change government’s decisionâ€.
Aunt Adeline mis-match
Hi readers! Even though I hadn’t shown any emotions when my aunt Adeline said that I needed to marry, and fast, I was amused. There she was, thinking that there was something amiss in my life because I’m not married, and there was her daughter, Bess, who would like to leave her alcoholic husband, but can’t! Of the two of us, who’s better off? I think I am. I’m living my life the way I want to and I’m satisfied with it.
It’s still darkness at noon: Six decades after independence (2)
What Chinua Achebe was describing as the fate of Nigeria was not pre-colonial or colonial or post-colonial politics but the transitional politics where all want to be the next post-colonial sovereigns.
The human experience: Our stories
There are also people who tell so many lies about their life that they eventually become a source of ridicule but my attitude has always been to believe anything I am told as long as it does not directly affect me adversely; I don’t have the energy to start sorting out stories that are at best irrelevant. I however get concerned that people often get left behind by other people’s expectations and live out a story that is not their own.
A salad bowl of intellectual garbage (7)
Humanity is still intimidated by fears it inherited from prehistoric humans, as well as fears that are products of the technological advancement of civilization, including the fear of nuclear annihilation. Collective fear engenders herd instinct, and tends to encourage aggressively towards strangers. As I suggested a moment ago, fear stimulates cruel impulses, and hence promotes superstitious beliefs which appear to justify cruelty.
Omafume onoge was an organic intellectual
We shall all certainly pay our debts with death, and in good time too. Onoge was 70 years. I would personally have thought that he lived beyond his mathematical years. I was a student in Jos in the years that Omafume Onoge held sway as the titan of the intellectual left in that city and in that university.
The return of alarms
WHEN we started this journey on the democracy highway in 1999 and I began to monitor how we were doing, I sang the praises of the new deal, the joy of return to due process, to the orderly and ordered ways of doing things.
Amnesty offer: Waving the flag of surrender
Thank God, it has not taken the government long to realize the futility of the military solution. The consequences of military intervention are now staring us in the face because the action preceded thinking. Now Yar’Adua is waving the flag of surrender in the form of amnesty and only minor war lords are responding.
*celebrations here and there
Then followed the first physical contact made by a human being with a celestial body when Neil Armstrong became the first man to walk on the moon and, with his first step, made that momentous statement: “That’s one small step for a man; one giant leap for humanity.â€
Their road, not our road
The nation’s major sea port of Apapa and Tin Can Island are critically endangered.
This new danger does not arise as a result of militants’ action, but due to lack of constructive reasoning, planning and execution of sensitive projects, necessary for Apapa and Tin Can Island Ports to function effectively.

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