By Yetunde Arebi

For the average couple, having sex involves about three or four basic positions, the Missionary, the Spoon, and perhaps the Cowgirl and the Doggy. Some might do a combination of two or three of these positions in a session, while most opt for the Missionary and it variants. Culture, societal norms, religion, personal inhibitions and beliefs play a major role in our attitude towards sex and anything related. For instance, some people believe that a person must never be totally naked, regardless of the situation.

Thus, while taking a bath, they will have their underwear on, they will also stay under the covers to have sex. Some people believe it is disrespectful for a female to be on top of a man during sex as the man is superior. She must be under; dominated and subdued. It is disrespectful also for a female to ogle at a the male organ; she must be wayward. Many are also of the view that certain sex positions must only be performed with the other woman, girlfriends or prostitutes, the Missionary and Spoon are the honourable positions for married women.

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However, while many are still trapped in these illusions, the average modern couple has moved on in the exploration of the pleasures and benefits of sex. Courtesy of various research works by experts in the field of human sex and sexuality, many now know that sex does not only possess therapeutic powers but is actually capable of improving general health and well being, as well as preventing many health conditions of individuals.

In fact, the more sex you have, the healthier you are likely to become as it helps to release toxins that relieve pain, tension, boost immunity and help us relax and sleep better amongst many other things. It is also a great source of exercise, especially for those who can’t be bothered with regimented exercises. The more sex you have and the more complicated the position, the more you are likely to burn off calories, tone up your muscles and improve cardio vascular health. A flip through the pages of the legendary Kama Sutra will open your mind to the endless possibilities of how flexible the human body can be.

Indeed, there are some positions that are not likely to help in achieving some of the good things experts have listed that sex is capable of, but rather, more likely to cause you serious pains, injury or a visit to the emergency room if care is not taken. In fact, I found quite a number of them ridiculous, funny, and even difficult to imagine anyone engaged in, in the name of having sex.

Picture yourself in the headstand position supported by your hands, with your legs in the air spread out, then straddled in that position by your man!! Though some may love adventure and are willing to try new things, unless you are a professional gymnast or contortionist, or a gym enthusiast and your flexibility and stamina is not in doubt, I think this might just be your ticket to the land of the dead.

For, I doubt if getting banged while standing on your head, or standing on one foot will count as stress or pain relieving sex rather than pain and stress inducing one. Still, if you are comfortable and free with your partner and  communication between you two is incredibly fluid, you may try out some of these positions for your weekend relaxation.

The BB Shakedown

The B.B. Shakedown is perhaps the most strenuous sexual position known to man. Many argue this title belongs to the Italian Chandelier, but in reality, the B.B. Shakedown requires the most physical exertion of any sex position. For this position, the man supports himself on the floor with only one hand (two if he must) as the female latches on to his body in the missionary position, but her back is not touching the ground, so she is only hanging on by her arms and legs.

The man begins to do  push ups with the woman attached to him, and humping him at the same time. For both man and woman, this is not for the lily-livered as the man must support both his own and the woman’s weight, while the woman hanging must also support her own body as she does a upward pelvic thrust against gravity. Dare to try it out if you care!

The bridge

The Bridge sex position falls more into the category of Sexercise sex position than super-pleasurable sex. This is because it’s quite strenuous for you to perform for more than a minute or two, not unless you have super muscles. For the bridge, you need to get into the ‘crab’ position used in gymnastics. This means, the woman will be on all fours like in the doggy style, but she is flipped 180 degrees, such that her back will be facing the ground or bed and her hands supporting her weight behind her.

The man will then go on his knees between the woman’s legs while facing her. He then enters and puts his hands on her thighs to help pull her towards him each time he thrusts. Unfortunately, for the woman in this position, you will be spending most of your time trying to keep your balance, than enjoying yourself. You’ll need to be super strong to be able to do any thrusting, so, it’s best to just concentrate on positioning your hands and feet in the most comfortable position you can. The man needs to understand how uncomfortable this position is for the woman so he needs to go gently too.

The wheelbarrow

This sex position is a complete workout, though it reminds one of the childhood games of playing wheelbarrow.  In this position, both partners need good arm strength as well as thigh muscles.  Here, the woman supports herself with her arms on the ground while the man holds her legs up to his waist from behind. This is where the name is derived from . The wheelbarrow, also known as the Hoover manoeuvre sex position ensures that the guy is more likely to hit the G-spot.  You can add more spice to it by going on a walk around your home as you hit it off. Just be prepared for the aftermath.

The Ballerina

The Ballerina sex position is one of those really exotic ones that 95% of ladies will just never be able to perform. This is simply down to the issue of flexibility as this is a strenuous sex position even for guys. The woman balances all her weight on one leg with the other extended in the air while the man enters her enters her standing up. To really get a grip of this position, you both need to start by facing each other while standing.

To make it less painful, place your raised leg on your guy’s shoulder as you balance on the other and move up really close to connect. For me, this sounds almost impossible unless you are some rubber flexible gymnast. Otherwise, the pain from this position can make you a patient at the emergency unit afterwards. If you are adventurous and desire to try it out, please go gently until you get a grip of things.

Lotus

In this position, the couple must have great thigh muscle strength and stamina. This is because sex positions that involves sitting, standing and kneeling can be quiet nerve breaking and tricky to perform. In the lotus, the man is sitting upright and the woman is sitting on top of him with her legs wrapped around his waist. Though this is a very great position for intimacy and kissing, the lotus  takes a lot of strength and energy especially on the part of the woman to achieve a steady rhythm. If you wish to up your heart rate and burn up some calories, this is another fantastic position.

Viennese Oyster 

In the Viennese Oyster position, the woman lays on her back with her lower back and legs raised all the way up so that her ankles are crossed behind her own head.  Surely this needs a lot of flexibility indeed. The position will expose the woman’s vital area to her partner who now strides her from the top. The man also needs to use his hands to support his own weight so that he does not place his entire weight on the woman. If this happens, her spines may be sacrificed. Ouch!

Folded Deck Chair 

To get in to the Folded Deck Chair position, the woman will lay on her back, pivot her hips so that her legs are on her man’s shoulders as he enters from a kneeling position. He would need to his woman’s strong legs to support some of his weight. Leaning on a partner’s legs helps to improve the angle of penetration to target the g-spot. This position is believed to be a favourite of some men as it gives them a sense of power which comes from folding their partner. A less flexible woman can pivot her hips lower so the legs will be in the air beneath the man’s shoulders.

The Pile driver

Aptly named after an actual Pile Driver, this position is extremely strenuous, especially for the woman. For this, the woman will lay supine into a front bend, similar to the Yoga plow pose; her bottom will be up and legs bent over her head. The man then stands above to penetrate.

Please note though this is not recommended for you if you are not considerably flexible or fit, it might still be fun trying. Hmm!! Do have a wonderful weekend!!