By Onozure Dania

Merry Christmas, as we are all in the mood of celebration, I would like you to also read this piece as it will go a long way to help your relationships. Here’s the truth about intimacy, that I feel it’s absolutely essential for you to express your complete truth to your partner, and for you to accept theirs.

To do this, both of you need to trust each other enough to let each other into your inner world, to share your soul and know the other will truly listen and accept it.                                       Trust is built up in moment-by-moment interactions. You can build it or lose it, in an instant.

As humans, we have the gift of words. We can share what we think and feel to draw closer and be fully known and we can use words to prompt changes when something isn’t working. But most of us don’t know how to effectively use them, and lose control in the heat of the moment.

We accidentally do damage to our relationships with what we share, how we share it and how we respond, we get triggered and lash out.

We try to prove ourselves right and conversations escalate intofightsWe make ourselves enemies with only one “winner,” and we do huge damage in just one sentence we didn’t mean to say.

We seek out others to get our emotional needs met, and feel better and safer around people who aren’t our partners.

Our feelings get hurt and we pull away inch by inch farther and farther over time, until we stop sharing all together, because we’ve stopped believing our partners can really “hear” us, anyway.