My boyfriend is five years older than me. He is a great lover, but I’d only had sex a couple of times with my ex before we got together and I feel like I’m lousy, especially when compared to his ex-girlfriends. He keeps asking me to make love to him, but I’m terrified as I don’t know what to do.

My husband and I have a good sex life, but I’ve never really got much kick out of oral sex. Most women go on about how good it is, but it does nothing for me. When making love, I like really firm pressure and a slithering tongue just can’t provide that. In fact, the only time it worked for me, I stimulated myself with my fingers before my husband finished things off.

When my husband died five years ago, one of the people who stood by me was an ex-boyfriend. We had a really passionate relationship which later fizzled out. When I became lonely – I had just one child by my husband – my ex took me out and we soon started a relationship. Though I was looking at just the sex, my ex said he loved me and would support me in whatever I do.

About a year ago, my younger brother told me he’d just been diagnosed with some kidney infection and would need a lot of expensive treatment if he were to be cured. The alternative was for him to have a transplant which would be lots more expensive. He asked for a loan of N200,000 and promised to pay me as soon as he got his car allowance which was being processed by his office.

Champagne’ used to be a really seductive word a few decades back.