While going through my archive, I found out that I made a promise since December 1, 2013, to write on communication in marriage on this column. A promise is a debt and it is better paid late than never fulfilled, so here we go. By now every married person or persons preparing for marriage ought to know that good and effective communication is an essenco (essenco means essential commodity, for the younger ones who were not born or were very young in the early 80s) to the success of every marriage.

Thirty years ago, it would be stupid asking whether we should flog or smack our children as part of the disciplinary measures for their proper upbringing. Many people who are currently in their 30s and above were smacked or flogged by their parents at one point or the other, sometimes mercilessly. But society is evolving. Like many aspects of life, people are asking questions. Even terrains that were hitherto sacred or no-go areas are now being probed and questioned.

So much has been written about the great one, Mr. Gamaliel Onosode, since he passed on 19 days ago that it is impossible now to write about him without being repetitive. I, therefore, decided not to do a tribute, especially since I did not know him personally beyond occasionally seeing him at ceremonies.

For some time now, rape has become a multiple daily occurrence in Nigeria. In spite of intense media focus, the number and frequency of rape cases, especially the sexual abuse of under-aged children, have increased. Even more disturbing is the fact that some of these abuses are carried out by the biological fathers of these young girls.

In the last 14 years, my wife and I have been sponsors to 10 couples getting married. The job of the sponsor in the church has nothing to do with giving financial support to the couples marrying, although no be crime if sponsors give. The sponsors’ job is to encourage, guide and advise new couples to make their marriages successful. Ordinarily new couples are advised to work out their differences and avoid bringing third parties into their marriages.