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Marriage and Family

Twenty years after

I have since crossed the 20 years mark in marriage. Within this period too, I have been involved in the preparation of new entrants into marriage (15 years) in my parish;I have interacted with and counselled many people on marital issues, and I have also kept this column for almost six years now. The icing is my book, Life Lessons from Mudipapa, which essentially focuses on courtship, marriage, family life and parenting.With the benefit of all these experiences, I have come up with my list of the most important ingredients necessary to sustain a marriage, and I dare add, make it happy.

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What are you hiding?

A few years ago, I was at a wedding reception where I shared a table with a lady. During her conversation with another guest, her voice sounded familiar, but I could not place her face. Her husband joined her later and that confirmed her identity, but the face still looked unfamiliar. Then I summoned courage and said, “Sis, I no know say na you sit down opposite me before o? Then she retorted angrily: “Me too, I no recognise you.”

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I stand with RMD

We live in a free world and that is beautiful. You are fine as long as you exercise your freedom within legal bounds. But sometimes it goes beyond legality; there are also moral boundaries. Freedom goes with concomitant responsibilities. In order words, exercise your freedom responsibly. It helps to keep this in mind in our thoughts and actions. I am going to situate today’s column within a recent Instagram post of veteran actor, Richard Mofe Damijo (RMD), the responses (backlash in some cases), and the legality and morality of freedom.

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After wedding drama

I was not there; I saw the video like many others. The narrative said it happened in Kilo, Ikate, Surulere, Lagos. A newly-wed man walked out on his wife during their wedding reception; saying “I no dey do again” (I am not marrying her anymore),while putting both hands at the back of his neck/head (a sign of despair). His wife was running after him, throwing herself on the ground, but the guy insisted he was done.

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Suicide is not a fashion fad

Some Nigerians approach life with herd mentality. You remember when many people became emergency investors in the stock market until the bubble burst. People without requisite skills were just buying shares based on which shares were “reigning.” The problem of herd mentality did not start today; it has been with us for a while. One of my professors at the University of Nigeria, Nsukka, Okwudili Nnoli, called it “me-too-ism” in his book, “Ethnic Politics in Nigeria.” Yes, the same herd mentality is what made ethnic politics to grow taproot in Nigeria even before independence.

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dating, scene

Mudipapa:Birth of Omoghene Orien

One evening, EseOghene came home tired. She had her bath and decided to take a nap. She always slept naked. When Mudipapa came back from work, he found her in a very inviting position. “Dinner” was served and without saying “prayer before meal” (foreplay) he started “eating.” EseOghene was startled from sleep, but Mudipapa was already busy. “It is not safe o, this one you are doing,” EseOghene protested feebly. But as they say, “when a man gets an erection, his brain goes on leave.” Mudipapa’s brain had gone on leave the moment he came into the room and saw EseOghene. It would start working again when he was done. To his credit after about 18 years of marriage, EseOghene still held him spellbound.

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