By Bunmi Sofola

IT never fails to amaze me some of the reasons people give for behaving inappropriately. When Feyi’s marriage hit the rocks some years back, we agreed she had genuine reasons to move out of her matrimonial home. Her husband was a cheat and violent with it. “With the experience, I had with him I vowed never to be a door mat to any man,”fumed Feyi. “My dad loved the bottle more than he loved his family, and when he was drunk, he was violent—mostly towards our mum. The sad thing is that she always forgave him over and over.

By the time I got married, I had no respect for both my parents and that was why I vowed that no man would ever hurt me. “I had a good education and when my ex started showing his fangs after six years of marriage, I left with my two kids. That should give him plenty of  time for his bits-on-the-side and give him new punching bags.” Feyi was a

lucky girl indeed. Within a year, she’d landed a much older man who pampered her and took her in with her two kids. Feyi was in seventh heaven and bragged that though Anslem, her new man, was possessive, she liked it, thinking it was because he was so crazy about her. After her ex’s indifference,

she was happy having someone who didn’t want her out of his sight.

Love

When Anslem called at my office months later, I was curious. He’d never set foot in my flat or the office. Was Feyi ill? “She’s moved out of my house,” he told me after he’d calmed down a bit. “She had a text message on her mobile last week and quickly snapped shut her phone as soon as she saw the message.

without giving her the opportunity to delete the message, I grabbed the phone only to see a picture message of a young man—he was stark naked and the arrogant smirk on his face made me feel physically sick. Feyi looked defiant as I quietly passed the phone back to her. I was more puzzled when I came

home later in the day to find her gone with the kids.”

I told him I hadn’t heard from Feyi for quite a while but promised to have a word with her as soon as I could. Having an affair is one thing but having a full-scale nude picture of your lover whilst you live with a partner looked a bit reckless to me. According to Anslem, the man looked considerably younger

than Feyi and she confirmed this. When I finally tracked her down she defended her action, saying: ‘Anslem is a lousy lover. His fore-play sickened me; he was so set in his routine that I was sexually frustrated. So when I met Ken at a friend’s party, I was flattered that he made a play for me in spite of all

the sexy younger girls dancing around him. He confessed he’d always found older women attractive. I couldn’t believe it myself when I agreed to go to his house knowing fully what would happen. My body, simply took over my brain, blowing away my self-control as we made love, semi-dressed-half-on

and half-off his fancy bed.

After a couple more romps with him, I was hooked. I mean: why should I fake happiness when I could have the real thing? Ken was the most adventurous man I’d ever seen, and I was wondering how to let Anslem down lightly when he picked up my phone. He had no business reading my messages and much as I regretted hurting him, after what he saw and after reading a few scorching messages from Ken, I knew it was about time I left. I have a good job and it wasn’t as if I was his kept woman. Since then, Ken and I have

had many spontaneous sex sessions that I don’t regret leaving Anslem.” I had promised to get back to Anslem after I’d spoken with Feyi but didn’t know what to tell him. He might have understood my silence to mean there was no point flogging a dead horse. He showed a lot of maturity by not bothering to find out what Feyi had to say for her behaviour. I’d never met Ken and when next I met Feyi, she was with this tall handsome man, who looked extremely younger. If it was all sex with him maybe it was okay, but

she looked a bit pathetic hanging on to his arm at a formal function.

I’d scarcely said hello when she said, “this is Supo.” Did I hear her right? I arched my brow to ask if he was the same person she’d abandoned Anslem for, when she discreetly shook her head. “Where’s Ken?” I hissed as soon as we were out of earshot. “Gone with the wind,” she answered flippantly, “I just found him boring after a while. It was easy to get rid of him as I’d moved back to my flat. We had a few words and I asked him to leave and never bother to come back. He looked so hurt and confused that I felt a bit

elated. I’d used him just as men use women. I’d taken what I wanted then showed him the door.

“The realization gave me a buzz, I tell you. I wanted to do it again. And why not? If the men in my life could hurt me, who said I couldn’t pay them back in their own coin? Supo is even much younger but I haven’t let that bother me.

What I need him for has nothing to do with age. As a matter of fact, the younger ones are more eager to show you they’re more experienced than you. And, it’s only the sex you’re both after, which is fine by me. With a younger man, you’re not into any relationship. You fancy him and if you both click, you have a couple of amazing nights then kiss him goodbye!