By Aunty Julie

Dear Aunty Julie,

I really am not sure where to begin. I came from a happy home, even though my parents were divorced. I was raped when I was thirteen by a neighbour but I moved on with my life. Two months later, I got married . Nine months into my marriage, I got pregnant, then miscarried. I still tried to move on in life but almost three years after the first rape, I was raped again . This is where I feel like I am going literally crazy. I reported this one to the police, but I think that was a bad idea. I can’t handle the stress this has brought on! It has affected every aspect of my life . I need help rearranging my life.

Ibukun, Akure

Dear Ibukun,

You are struggling with post-traumatic stress. There’s the horror of the rape, then the added anxiety, if not trauma, of the police investigation, especially if not handled sensitively. And the second rape can also stir unresolved grief around your miscarriage. Now I’m not sure where your marriage comes in regarding the sequence of rapes. But I’m sure this is also tortuous for your husband. I wonder how the two of you are doing in light of all the past and present trials.

My strong recommendations is that you get some individual counseling with a woman who has expertise in rape/sexual abuse and, perhaps, with women who have miscarried .Besides, you and your husband might need some couple counseling to help you cope with the traumas