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Our politicians have gone mad again!

By Dr. Ugoji Egbujo

There is nothing that hasn’t happened recently. We were told angels were gathering.  They  were burning with the desire to save Nigeria from a certain apocalypse. But we are now seeing familiar vultures congregating, returning with outstretched necks. And wolves have started  coming back, not in sheep’s clothing, but as ravenous wolves.

APC & PDP

After all the letters and the righteous tantrums, a retired Obasanjo is backsliding into party politics. The coalition to rescue Nigeria had cried us a river, but it appears the coalition has no  ‘liver.’ It’s a hard  shell of disgruntled old politicians with a sheen of effete youthful idealists. It has crawled and searched, it has become desperate.  So it has in its desperation latched onto the  PDP. And the PDP, it once perceived as contemptible, has become its soul.

It isn’t just  Obasanjo, the messiah,  who is doing seemingly bizarre things. Yes, he once thought  no one could be more corrupt than  his former assistant, Atiku Abubakar. And he  used to believe Jonathan was such a corrupt weakling. Circumstances have reunited them and he  has started proclaiming  their sanctification. We know Obasanjo. The Nigerian Intervention Movement has activists for whom Obasanjo is not a moral model. They also once thought the PDP was a terminally ill  leper. But they are now willing to frolic with a PDP that has not dipped itself in any known  River Jordan.

There is nothing that has not happened.  The PDP faction that sought refuge in the APC in 2014 are fed up. They say they have lived the last three years as wretchedly as internally displaced persons in Maiduguri. They came as new PDP (nPDP),  they are departing as Reformed APC ( R-APC). They are returning to the very PDP they deemed too filthy for habitation. They think the APC  is refractory to change.  An ungrateful APC, they say, used and dumped them like soiled diapers. In 2014, they had  strutted the country like long legged  brides—coveted by all. In 2018, they  have sneaked  around the country in swollen faces of the jilted menopausal, haggling out personal political rewards remorselessly, from an indignant but helpless power-hungry PDP.

While  the Reformed APC is looking for a new nest with the anxiety  of the homeless,  Governor Fayose is doing a Neymar on the eve of governorship elections in Ekiti. Brazilian footballer Neymar clutches his head when his toe is scratched. Fayose smelt tear gas and clutched onto his neck. A video clip  has gone viral. It has Fayose weeping in a neck collar.  Fayose  wanted the public to believe his neck was broken by the police. Dino Melaye  wont be happy with  Fayose.  He has reduced the credibility of the ploy. Dino threatened to commit suicide to punish the police men who came to arrest him. And took refuge in a neck collar to evade the police. But he never cried. If Dino had immunity he would  never have misused  a neck collar. But Fayose  wore a collar, and wept like a hired  mourner, only to  entice public sympathy.

APGA and APC lOGO

In 2014, Mr Fayose was the candidate of the PDP. PDP’s  humble  Goodluck Jonathan was president.  Urbane Kayode Fayemi was governor of Ekiti. A few days to the 2014 governorship  election in that state, soldiers prevented APC governors from entering Ekiti state.  On the eve of that election, many APC officials were mopped up in a raid evidently designed to weaken the party. After the elections, a recording surfaced, Ekitigate was born. It was alleged that Fayose and the  PDP used the army and other security agencies to intimidate their opponents and  manipulate the  2014 Ekiti  governorship elections.

Karma, it appears, loves Ekiti state. It  quietly switched roles for the major players in Ekiti. Fayose is now governor. Fayemi has the ears of the president.  Suddenly,  Fayose, who loves to describe himself as  ruthless Peter the Rock, wants the army and the police to maintain neutrality in the interest of peace and unity. He seems troubled by the ghosts of 2014.

The Governor of Sokoto has dissolved his cabinet. He doesn’t want to travel to his new destination with  political infidels. With one eye on the presidency, he now speaks like Fayose. He now says that Buhari has been poor. He is a member of the reformed APC that has identified the PDP as the new heaven. The Governor of Benue is relocating too. Many say, after the massacres, no one will vote APC in Benue. The governor has a mountain of unpaid workers salaries. But killer herdsmen have given him a lifeline.  When Governor Wike visited  and donated 200 million naira to Benue, we all smelt a rat. Because a few months before then he had described Benue’s Governor Ortom as a bumbling  idle governor. That was when Ortom went to Rivers to help APC and  Rotimi Amaechi.

Governor Rochas Okorocha returned to Owerri after the APC convention dancing ‘shaku shaku.’ Then a  court  annulled the  disputed APC ward congresses conducted by ghosts in Imo.  A couple of months ago he run  in fright to Daura after the ward congresses were held behind his back. He had seemed a drowning  man.  The insurrection has been quelled. But it is hoped that he has learnt a few lessons. Imo cannot be privatized without nightmares. Imo won’t let  any ‘nwa dishi’ (colonial district officer) come back. And not a black ‘nwa dishi.’

Adeosun has been at loggerheads with the NNPC. FAAC meetings have ended in rancour. NNPC cannot explain how much the nation wastes on petrol subsidy. And just when the minister was standing her ground, someone remembered her national youth service corps exemption certificate. What has been circulated as her  exemption certificate looks dodgy. The boys of  Oluwole street are more meticulous.  What is  the signature of a Director General who wasn’t the Director General on the date it was issued doing on that certificate?  A quiet Adeosun is now understandably  mute. Some say the scandal was orchestrated from within. They claim her neck has been put on the guillotine by the Cabal.

The NYSC Act  is now being examined by  even bus drivers. And that  law quite frankly pretends to be summoning people to compulsory military service, like it’s done in Israel. Who knew it was a criminal offense not to attend NYSC after graduation, even if you remained a  housewife.  Really? A Nigerian who schooled and lived abroad all his life cannot be appointed to any position until he completes one year NYSC programme even if he returned at 75 years. Since Adeosun applied for an exemption which in truth she stood no legitimate chance of getting, she has to produce the middle man who helped procure her suspicious exemption certificate.

It’s interesting.


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