By Aunty Julie

Dear Aunty Julie,

I like this guy who recently split up with his girlfriend . I really like him. I don’t know what to do about it. He is 30 and I’m 18. I have not dated a guy before but I like him and would want to date him. Do I ignore my feelings or act upon them?

Priye, Bayelsa

Dear Priye,

There’s no easy answer about when to act on your feelings. People take different amounts of time to move on from a relationship and it’s important for them to have this time before they move onto another relationship. You didn’t say how long he was with his ex, so it’s hard to tell how serious the relationship was. As a general rule, the longer the relationship, the longer the time it takes to get over those feelings and be ready to commit emotionally to a new relationship.

It’s probably been really hard hiding your feelings from him, and it probably hasn’t helped to just try to ignore them. A good idea might be to spend time with him so that you can get to know each other better. This will also help you to find out if you have the same interests and want the same things, which can be difficult with such a large age gap.

While hanging out with him, you might also be able to tell if/when he’s ready to date again. It might be easier to find out these things before telling him how you feel. If he tells you he isn’t ready to date yet, he’s doing the right thing by not jumping into a relationship when he isn’t ready for it.