Monday November 24th, 2014
Monday November 24th, 2014
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Making room

  /   in Moment to Moment 9:01 am   /   Comments

A sense of belonging is what most people spend their whole lives looking to find; its why we are attached to friends and relatives; its why we spend a major part of our lives looking for that special someone to share our lives with; its why we build our homes to particular tastes and fill it with all sorts of knick knacks that make it a home.. As much as we all aspire to greatness; to excel in all enterprises we set our minds to no; one really wants to be all alone! Those who seek lives of complete solitude have either been spurned by the world or driven away from civilisation to find deeper meaning in things that are totally outside the range of judgement and rejection. What is becoming very apparent to me is that quite a number of people are actually very lonely despite not being alone! Sounds ridiculous to be in the middle of a crowd yet be consumed by abject loneliness but surprisingly a number of people are in that very position. Robin Williams, one of the world’s most accomplished comedians this year committed suicide, he was full of life and made everyone laugh, who would have guessed how miserable he was? His state of mind was captured in a haunting quote. In his words “I used to think the worst thing in life was being all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone”

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Calm acceptance

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:05 am   /   Comments

bookpix3

Natural consequence of growth, every breath we draw is another step in the ageing process, things change when they get older; that much is obvious in our appearance.

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Calculated clarity

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:01 am   /   Comments

Neigbhourhood-Watch-Cartoon

The view one has of the world is most of the time determined by the information one has at any present time. So you could be living a really different reality than what really obtains all around you. I have always held the view that my acceptable reality is one that helps me live the best life I possibly can, I don’t go digging for truths that sour my joy and where I am faced with ugly facets of people’s character, I just look away, it’s what I call calculated clarity.

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Ministers of Grace

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:33 am   /   Comments

economy

In the Nigeria of my dreams we would all live under a state of grace. The grace of God bestowed on man and the grace of man to man. Grace would be the lubricant that keeps the engine of humanity running.

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One sorry day!!

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:43 am   /   Comments

No-stress

There are some days in the calendar that we should all be made to wear danger signals. Days when we have moods as dark as the stormy clouds and are like bombs just waiting for the right trigger to go off.

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In the doing

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:35 am   /   Comments

Dr. Ameyo Adadevoh

Righteousness in the saying is easy, it’s no better than bragging, everyone does it. Righteousness in the doing however is a tad more complicated and requires us to commit to doing all that we say and lay claim to believing all the time.

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And He laughs!

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:09 am   /   Comments

laugh

Comedy is great fun, I especially love to laugh heartily and I can make jokes of most sad situations. If you can find some mirth in adversity, you can find enough hope to positively spin things around.

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Overcoming strongholds

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:09 am   /   Comments

prayer

Everybody prays; we pray in times of trouble, when there’s danger and when we really desire something! It’s almost second nature to pray! Praying means we agree that there is a higher power and we believe it can help us! We can tear down every imaginable stronghold with prayer but not all prayers are answered and that in itself could be a stronghold! No one is to blame as even students of theology hardly have the incontrovertible method of prayer but I have found that science and prayer are extremely compatible.

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Strongholds: The final frontier

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:01 am   /   Comments

From right, former President Olusegun Obasanjo, Delta State Governor, Dr. Emmanuel Uduaghan and Mrs. Bola Obasanjo, during the launch of Feed Africa Programme and 75th birthday celebration by Chief Obasanjo at Abeokuta,

Given the choice between a book and a movie I always make the choice of books! While watching movies is invariably easier and less mentally tasking than digesting a book, it gives a lot less satisfaction than the vivid imagery that the mind can conjure. The human imagination has more colours than have been named and its vivid descriptions of characters and plots are hardly ever matched by what is possible to create by actors and directors! The genius of it is that a million readers can have different perceptions from reading the exact same book! The human imagination is the greatest tool of the mind and its use positively or negatively decides the reality we live; it is the life blood of strongholds.

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Breaking Strongholds (2)

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:16 am   /   Comments

Debbie-olujobi-logo

It’s absolutely amazing to me to find that deep inside ourselves is the one place we will never look for answers. Quite a lot of people are terrified to look within for answers, they find it easier to blame the environment, their parents, bad luck or even their situations, and anybody but them is the source of all discontent and failure. We like to follow the path of least resistance, taking on suggestions and established truths of others so we don’t have to dig for our own inner truths! Once upon a time, it was an established truth that the earth was flat; the man who thought it round was considered a heretic; so founding our lives on established truths is tricky as truth changes ground once new information is available!

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Breaking Strongholds (1)

  /   in Moment to Moment 10:31 pm   /   Comments

It’s often a light bulb moment for me when someone casts a deeper understanding into phrases or situations I have hitherto ignored or just never really truly contemplated! I believe everyone has had such a moment where you suddenly get clarity and understand something that has never been clear before; it’s like being in the dark and someone suddenly puts on the light! That illumination or understanding is what I call a light bulb moment!

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Living by grace

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:09 am   /   Comments

the-gods

The world that we live in is changing, times are hard and there is no candy floss way to sweeten it. The entire world has been in the vice grip of a punishing recession and terrorism has added a new and bitter twist to hardship.

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A Pregnant pause

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:02 am   /   Comments

Debbie-olujobi-logo

Spontaneous reactions are occurrences most of us describe as unexpected and unplanned. Things we do without deliberate intent or forethought; explosions of sorts triggered by emotions on rampage. The beauty of hindsight is that we actually give ourselves enough time to think about how we should have reacted and then see a different turn of events to those we most likely come to sorely regret. One of the most notable features of older people is their unhurried gait and pace. They seem to have got the memo from heaven that everything and everyone can wait. Spontaneity and rash impulses get hammered out with time and at a particular age the wisdom of the elders is more a direct dividend of patience and energy deficiency. A truly mature and wise individual knows the value of an extended pause; they know just how important it is to buy some time before giving in to emotions; anger is a tonic only for the mad!!

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Them and us

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:46 am   /   Comments

Debbie-olujobi-logo

A fools paradise is a reality that is beautiful and perfect, supporting values and beliefs that project an illusion of peace; it is tailor made to suit the dreams and aspirations of its owner, it has one fatal flaw; its not real. Almost a decade ago I was accused of living in a fools paradise by a friend on a visit to my home back then. He liked the harmony we enjoyed but felt there was way too much familiarity between me and my domestic staff; “there is a line of authority that you are letting them cross and I am sure you will someday regret it”. I had explained that I didn’t hold any supremacist values and that I believed that save for grace and a lottery of birth we were all one and the same, at least before God.

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A mother indeed

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:03 am   /   Comments

Debbie-olujobi-logo

The years roll by pretty quick and very soon we forget what we once couldn’t live without. I begin writing this column with an open mind, I have two mothers in mind and I can’t decide which of them I want to write about, so I am just going to give my mind free rein to express itself. The first mother is my biological one and even though she joined the saints 14th of june 1996; she plays a very important role in my everyday life. I talk about her so much that my husband who never met her is sure he can pick her out in a crowd. You see, my mom was larger than life in every way; she was the life and soul of the party; she was funny, generous and friendly.

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The cost of Happiness

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:06 am   /   Comments

A ground hog day is a day that keeps repeating itself and I got a call a while back that had me thinking a nightmarish day from the past was happening all over again. It began when I missed an early call from a young lady I mentor as I was fast asleep at the time!! I got caught up in my day and only remembered it when she called me back much later in the day

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In a split second

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:24 am   /   Comments

“The lifestyle in Lagos is pure madness''

Mortality is given, life is terminal by nature. I wouldn’t qualify as anyone’s comedian though my family would say I was raucous and fun loving.

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The Say-Do ratio

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:17 am   /   Comments

*Confab: From left, Chief Mrs Akande Adenike, chatting with Akanwa Victoria and Mrs. Olufunmi Oshinowo-Bashorun at the National Conference in Abuja, yesterday. Photo:Gbemiga Olamikan.

In a recent group discussion, I came across the concept of the “Say-Do ratio”. It was at an international networking session of women executives and entrepreneurs. It was used in connection to partner participation in marriage by a man who was curious about how much working women expected from their men to feel truly fulfilled.

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The Simple life; the exodus

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:00 am   /   Comments

lagoscarnival

The greatest cities around the world are a buzz of commercial activities, money is the air that feeds the frenzy of life in NewYork, London, Shanghai, Paris, Tokyo and my own dear Lagos

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The simple life; when less is more

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:01 am   /   Comments

RurRR

Education is a necessary tool in today’s environment, it is the operating system for our survival. Being formally educated increases one’s chances of getting good employment, we are more informed so we get more opportunities, know more about our world and even see more of it.

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The simple life

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:05 am   /   Comments

Life is big, it’s not made up of one person; it’s a complex network of many persons, many locations, many beliefs and many values. Navigating life in full control is virtually impossible as the forces that hold the power are not vested in any one person or even groups of persons. Life as we know it is a consequence of decisions and life styles lived over eons; we just add a few touches to what is already in existence. I look at my life and I am not stupid enough to take credit for its highs and lows; I am of course extremely grateful to God for the abundant grace that has brought me thus far.

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There once was….

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:02 am   /   Comments

Life is like a revolving door, people seem to be passing through all the time. There are some who believe I have been hardened by a lot of sorrow early on in life and they could be right. What they observe is my calm acceptance and almost indifference to tragedy. I have found that I cant fight reality, so I tend to just roll with it.

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There once was….

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:00 am   /   Comments

Life is like a revolving door, people seem to be passing through all the time. There are some who believe I have been hardened by a lot of sorrow early on in life and they could be right. What they observe is my calm acceptance and almost indifference to tragedy. I have found that I cant fight reality, so I tend to just roll with it. I do my 3 B’s checklist and I move on.

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Impulses; the little foxes

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:00 am   /   Comments

The older I get the more I appreciate the wisdom of calm detachment and the beauty of silence. In Christianity, there is a potent fear of little foxes, seemingly innocent faults and weaknesses that could send one to hell and cost one to lose the salvation we all treasure. Lately I have been working on curbing my impulsiveness. When I look at myself and check for little foxes, I easily identify my impulsive nature as fox number one.

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This arm of flesh

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:10 am   /   Comments

Trust is a very big thing for most of us; trust is the key that opens the door of our hearts. Once we give someone our trust; we hand over the key to the strong room of our soul. Sadly placing trust in our fellow man can be hazardous; the Bible agrees and if you split the good book right in the middle you will find that Psalm 118 verse 8 says and I quote ” It is better to trust in The Lord than to put confidence in man”.

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The Declining Star

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:05 am   /   Comments

The art of stargazing is a pleasure confined to history, to easier times when life wasn’t running at such a frantic pace. Most heads are so bowed by problems they don’t ever look up at the sky, even if they caught brief glimpses, the sight of a glistening cosmos is blocked by pollution, giant buildings and artificial lights. To most people the stars are barely there, they don’t shine like in the stories!! The reality is that stars have become shadowy, hidden and obscured.

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This arm of flesh

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:03 am   /   Comments

Trust is a very big thing for most of us; trust is the key that opens the door of our hearts. Once we give someone our trust; we hand over the key to the strong room of our soul. Sadly placing trust in our fellow man can be hazardous; the Bible agrees and if you split the good book right in the middle you will find that Psalm 118 verse 8 says and I quote ” It is better to trust in The Lord than to put confidence in man”.

Read More →
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The Re-creation of man

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:10 am   /   Comments

That man is a creation of the divine is generally accepted by those who believe in a higher power. The Bible sheds light on a chronological work of creation of the earth, its features and all its creatures culminating in the creation of man. The bigger picture is often lost on most people and who can blame them? The Bible doesn’t dwell on the details that celebrate the mastery and genius that is creation. Like most people I don’t quite connect to the creation of Adam and Eve, that’s more legend than real to me.

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Second chances

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:07 am   /   Comments

My aunt regularly raises a particular point in prayer and the first time I heard it, I was intrigued. She prays to God in a dialogue form and during one of such prayers she asked for blessings and gave thanks that God is not man; if He was she didn’t believe her prayers would be heard, after all man does little else than judge his fellow man. Blessings would undoubtedly pass most of us over if men were God. We would be judged and weighed and mercy may not count for much at all. I totally agreed; it takes a highly elevated mind to get off the seat of judgement and let mercy prevail. Judgement is the bane of humanity and it is often based on emotions that are irrational and illogical; where it is sound; it still fails to deliver any satisfaction, since no man is perfect. When we judge one, we judge all.

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Second chances

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:10 am   /   Comments

My aunt regularly raises a particular point in prayer and the first time I heard it, I was intrigued. She prays to God in a dialogue form and during one of such prayers she asked for blessings and gave thanks that God is not man; if He was she didn’t believe her prayers would be heard, after all man does little else than judge his fellow man. Blessings would undoubtedly pass most of us over if men were God. We would be judged and weighed and mercy may not count for much at all. I totally agreed; it takes a highly elevated mind to get off the seat of judgement and let mercy prevail. Judgement is the bane of humanity and it is often based on emotions that are irrational and illogical; where it is sound; it still fails to deliver any satisfaction, since no man is perfect. When we judge one, we judge all.

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Living in balance

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:30 am   /   Comments

File photo

It didn’t help that I decided to work through my illness and came back home feeling like a rickety wooden bridge. If December was a person, I would conclude it hated me as no sooner did I get back that my children became ill, one by one we all took turns in hospital and the festivities passed in a sick blur. My nearest and dearest concluded I was what was wrong with me. In his words “You just don’t know when to stop; you work through everything”. Just a few days before christmas I was nursing a headache so fierce, I had to sit in the dark; my eyes just couldn’t take the light. By the time we got my doctor on the phone; all I could do was whimper and shed tears from pain that shot through every nerve; I was convinced I had done myself in!

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Ancient of tales

  /   in Moment to Moment 1:30 am   /   Comments

*Fire works Explode at Bar Beach,Ahmadu Bello Way Victoria Island Lagos To Celebrate New Year.At the CroosOver Night Of Lagos CountDown 2013.PHOTO;AKEEM SALAU

The world is a story, interwoven,inter connected, the tale of one; the story of all. The scientists have their explanations and so do all the religions but whatever tale or theory it still follows the evolution or should I say the story of man. The stories are similar and even when locations are vastly different; the heartache of the rich is eerily similar to that of the poor.

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