Thursday July 24th, 2014
Thursday July 24th, 2014
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Living by grace

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:09 am   /   Comments

the-gods

The world that we live in is changing, times are hard and there is no candy floss way to sweeten it. The entire world has been in the vice grip of a punishing recession and terrorism has added a new and bitter twist to hardship.

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A Pregnant pause

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:02 am   /   Comments

Debbie-olujobi-logo

Spontaneous reactions are occurrences most of us describe as unexpected and unplanned. Things we do without deliberate intent or forethought; explosions of sorts triggered by emotions on rampage. The beauty of hindsight is that we actually give ourselves enough time to think about how we should have reacted and then see a different turn of events to those we most likely come to sorely regret. One of the most notable features of older people is their unhurried gait and pace. They seem to have got the memo from heaven that everything and everyone can wait. Spontaneity and rash impulses get hammered out with time and at a particular age the wisdom of the elders is more a direct dividend of patience and energy deficiency. A truly mature and wise individual knows the value of an extended pause; they know just how important it is to buy some time before giving in to emotions; anger is a tonic only for the mad!!

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Them and us

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:46 am   /   Comments

Debbie-olujobi-logo

A fools paradise is a reality that is beautiful and perfect, supporting values and beliefs that project an illusion of peace; it is tailor made to suit the dreams and aspirations of its owner, it has one fatal flaw; its not real. Almost a decade ago I was accused of living in a fools paradise by a friend on a visit to my home back then. He liked the harmony we enjoyed but felt there was way too much familiarity between me and my domestic staff; “there is a line of authority that you are letting them cross and I am sure you will someday regret it”. I had explained that I didn’t hold any supremacist values and that I believed that save for grace and a lottery of birth we were all one and the same, at least before God.

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A mother indeed

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:03 am   /   Comments

Debbie-olujobi-logo

The years roll by pretty quick and very soon we forget what we once couldn’t live without. I begin writing this column with an open mind, I have two mothers in mind and I can’t decide which of them I want to write about, so I am just going to give my mind free rein to express itself. The first mother is my biological one and even though she joined the saints 14th of june 1996; she plays a very important role in my everyday life. I talk about her so much that my husband who never met her is sure he can pick her out in a crowd. You see, my mom was larger than life in every way; she was the life and soul of the party; she was funny, generous and friendly.

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The cost of Happiness

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:06 am   /   Comments

A ground hog day is a day that keeps repeating itself and I got a call a while back that had me thinking a nightmarish day from the past was happening all over again. It began when I missed an early call from a young lady I mentor as I was fast asleep at the time!! I got caught up in my day and only remembered it when she called me back much later in the day

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In a split second

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:24 am   /   Comments

“The lifestyle in Lagos is pure madness''

Mortality is given, life is terminal by nature. I wouldn’t qualify as anyone’s comedian though my family would say I was raucous and fun loving.

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The Say-Do ratio

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:17 am   /   Comments

*Confab: From left, Chief Mrs Akande Adenike, chatting with Akanwa Victoria and Mrs. Olufunmi Oshinowo-Bashorun at the National Conference in Abuja, yesterday. Photo:Gbemiga Olamikan.

In a recent group discussion, I came across the concept of the “Say-Do ratio”. It was at an international networking session of women executives and entrepreneurs. It was used in connection to partner participation in marriage by a man who was curious about how much working women expected from their men to feel truly fulfilled.

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The Simple life; the exodus

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:00 am   /   Comments

lagoscarnival

The greatest cities around the world are a buzz of commercial activities, money is the air that feeds the frenzy of life in NewYork, London, Shanghai, Paris, Tokyo and my own dear Lagos

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The simple life; when less is more

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:01 am   /   Comments

RurRR

Education is a necessary tool in today’s environment, it is the operating system for our survival. Being formally educated increases one’s chances of getting good employment, we are more informed so we get more opportunities, know more about our world and even see more of it.

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The simple life

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:05 am   /   Comments

Life is big, it’s not made up of one person; it’s a complex network of many persons, many locations, many beliefs and many values. Navigating life in full control is virtually impossible as the forces that hold the power are not vested in any one person or even groups of persons. Life as we know it is a consequence of decisions and life styles lived over eons; we just add a few touches to what is already in existence. I look at my life and I am not stupid enough to take credit for its highs and lows; I am of course extremely grateful to God for the abundant grace that has brought me thus far.

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There once was….

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:02 am   /   Comments

Life is like a revolving door, people seem to be passing through all the time. There are some who believe I have been hardened by a lot of sorrow early on in life and they could be right. What they observe is my calm acceptance and almost indifference to tragedy. I have found that I cant fight reality, so I tend to just roll with it.

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There once was….

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:00 am   /   Comments

Life is like a revolving door, people seem to be passing through all the time. There are some who believe I have been hardened by a lot of sorrow early on in life and they could be right. What they observe is my calm acceptance and almost indifference to tragedy. I have found that I cant fight reality, so I tend to just roll with it. I do my 3 B’s checklist and I move on.

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Impulses; the little foxes

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:00 am   /   Comments

The older I get the more I appreciate the wisdom of calm detachment and the beauty of silence. In Christianity, there is a potent fear of little foxes, seemingly innocent faults and weaknesses that could send one to hell and cost one to lose the salvation we all treasure. Lately I have been working on curbing my impulsiveness. When I look at myself and check for little foxes, I easily identify my impulsive nature as fox number one.

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This arm of flesh

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:10 am   /   Comments

Trust is a very big thing for most of us; trust is the key that opens the door of our hearts. Once we give someone our trust; we hand over the key to the strong room of our soul. Sadly placing trust in our fellow man can be hazardous; the Bible agrees and if you split the good book right in the middle you will find that Psalm 118 verse 8 says and I quote ” It is better to trust in The Lord than to put confidence in man”.

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The Declining Star

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:05 am   /   Comments

The art of stargazing is a pleasure confined to history, to easier times when life wasn’t running at such a frantic pace. Most heads are so bowed by problems they don’t ever look up at the sky, even if they caught brief glimpses, the sight of a glistening cosmos is blocked by pollution, giant buildings and artificial lights. To most people the stars are barely there, they don’t shine like in the stories!! The reality is that stars have become shadowy, hidden and obscured.

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This arm of flesh

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:03 am   /   Comments

Trust is a very big thing for most of us; trust is the key that opens the door of our hearts. Once we give someone our trust; we hand over the key to the strong room of our soul. Sadly placing trust in our fellow man can be hazardous; the Bible agrees and if you split the good book right in the middle you will find that Psalm 118 verse 8 says and I quote ” It is better to trust in The Lord than to put confidence in man”.

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The Re-creation of man

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:10 am   /   Comments

That man is a creation of the divine is generally accepted by those who believe in a higher power. The Bible sheds light on a chronological work of creation of the earth, its features and all its creatures culminating in the creation of man. The bigger picture is often lost on most people and who can blame them? The Bible doesn’t dwell on the details that celebrate the mastery and genius that is creation. Like most people I don’t quite connect to the creation of Adam and Eve, that’s more legend than real to me.

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Second chances

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:07 am   /   Comments

My aunt regularly raises a particular point in prayer and the first time I heard it, I was intrigued. She prays to God in a dialogue form and during one of such prayers she asked for blessings and gave thanks that God is not man; if He was she didn’t believe her prayers would be heard, after all man does little else than judge his fellow man. Blessings would undoubtedly pass most of us over if men were God. We would be judged and weighed and mercy may not count for much at all. I totally agreed; it takes a highly elevated mind to get off the seat of judgement and let mercy prevail. Judgement is the bane of humanity and it is often based on emotions that are irrational and illogical; where it is sound; it still fails to deliver any satisfaction, since no man is perfect. When we judge one, we judge all.

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Second chances

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:10 am   /   Comments

My aunt regularly raises a particular point in prayer and the first time I heard it, I was intrigued. She prays to God in a dialogue form and during one of such prayers she asked for blessings and gave thanks that God is not man; if He was she didn’t believe her prayers would be heard, after all man does little else than judge his fellow man. Blessings would undoubtedly pass most of us over if men were God. We would be judged and weighed and mercy may not count for much at all. I totally agreed; it takes a highly elevated mind to get off the seat of judgement and let mercy prevail. Judgement is the bane of humanity and it is often based on emotions that are irrational and illogical; where it is sound; it still fails to deliver any satisfaction, since no man is perfect. When we judge one, we judge all.

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Living in balance

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:30 am   /   Comments

File photo

It didn’t help that I decided to work through my illness and came back home feeling like a rickety wooden bridge. If December was a person, I would conclude it hated me as no sooner did I get back that my children became ill, one by one we all took turns in hospital and the festivities passed in a sick blur. My nearest and dearest concluded I was what was wrong with me. In his words “You just don’t know when to stop; you work through everything”. Just a few days before christmas I was nursing a headache so fierce, I had to sit in the dark; my eyes just couldn’t take the light. By the time we got my doctor on the phone; all I could do was whimper and shed tears from pain that shot through every nerve; I was convinced I had done myself in!

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Ancient of tales

  /   in Moment to Moment 1:30 am   /   Comments

*Fire works Explode at Bar Beach,Ahmadu Bello Way Victoria Island Lagos To Celebrate New Year.At the CroosOver Night Of Lagos CountDown 2013.PHOTO;AKEEM SALAU

The world is a story, interwoven,inter connected, the tale of one; the story of all. The scientists have their explanations and so do all the religions but whatever tale or theory it still follows the evolution or should I say the story of man. The stories are similar and even when locations are vastly different; the heartache of the rich is eerily similar to that of the poor.

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The age of power

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:10 am   /   Comments

Some people think strength is power under control, others say power is the ability to control and effect change. I believe power is the ability and even privilege to determine a course of action and then influence the result. The sad truth is that most people feel themselves to be at the mercy of fate, of reality. They feel powerless and emotionally, financially and spiritually impotent. It takes many years to actually become emancipated from this very depressing mindset and step into a realisation that power has been there for the taking and the using all along. I am not preaching a motivational message to give people a feel good burst of adrenaline; I am stating a fact that is becoming truer for me the older I get. Is power spiritual or political manipulation, gross abuse of authority, position and wealth or is it just a simple acceptance of responsibility, possibility and eventuality? I believe the latter to be very true.

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The age of power

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:05 am   /   Comments

Some people think strength is power under control, others say power is the ability to control and effect change. I believe power is the ability and even privilege to determine a course of action and then influence the result. The sad truth is that most people feel themselves to be at the mercy of fate, of reality. They feel powerless and emotionally, financially and spiritually impotent. It takes many years to actually become emancipated from this very depressing mindset and step into a realisation that power has been there for the taking and the using all along. I am not preaching a motivational message to give people a feel good burst of adrenaline; I am stating a fact that is becoming truer for me the older I get. Is power spiritual or political manipulation, gross abuse of authority, position and wealth or is it just a simple acceptance of responsibility, possibility and eventuality? I believe the latter to be very true.

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When the sky falls…

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:05 am   /   Comments

Late Olatunji Okusanya

Last week was not a particularly great week. Monday began with a first appointment at a morgue. I was there to support a younger sister who had the grim task of collecting the body of her 30 year old brother. In between filling forms and fulfilling all protocols, tempers flared and emotions raged but nothing could distract from the fact that the sky was falling.

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Stating the obvious

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:03 am   /   Comments

jonathan office

Politics or gossip is not my cup of tea and I have enough sense to stay away from religion but lately I do feel that rising above dirt doesn’t make one clean and for a change would like to state the obvious to the leaders who don’t seem to have a clue what leadership means! An emerging democracy takes time and it is true that Nigeria is a young one but youth and craziness are not mutually exclusive.

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Expectations

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:30 am   /   Comments

Lagos2

It can be disheartening when one’s expectations are cut off! Over the years I have tried not to want something so badly I become desperate or frustrated. I have also found that enterprise and negotiation work better when one is dispassionate and logical; passion in negotiation most times just convey desperation to others. The best bargaining tool is always a cold and even disparaging exterior; it says that one is willing to walk away from several other options.

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Sealed with a loving kiss

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:06 am   /   Comments

By Debbie Olujobi A kiss is a loving seal on affection, a bodily statement that speaks love when words become redundant; a physical expression of love. A kiss is intimate; it connotes familiarity, affection, an emotional currency of a love shared. I don’t refer to the casual cheek to cheek kiss that’s a meaningless greeting

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At times like these

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:13 am   /   Comments

TRAGEDY—The crash scene and rescue operations.

There is a saying that there is nothing new under the sun and for every tragedy, there are countless greater tragedies! Pain however can’t be classified or eulogised with fancy words and one thing I find very unbecoming is the comparison of tragedies. It would be better to stay away than to visit someone who is grieving and start telling them about someone who has a bigger problem than they do

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The great undertaker

  /   in Moment to Moment 9:45 pm   /   Comments

*The late Tunji Okusanya

The litmus test for any successful relationship or association is growth. I have always believed that a good relationship calls us up higher, we rise to become better, because of the nurture and encouragement we receive. Some people bring out the best in others but there are some extraordinary people who can bring out the best in you when you are at your worst. Kindness and humility is a very rare combination; they go hand in hand but they are not easily found. Now if you go one step further and add generosity to that combination you would get an accurate description of the subject of my thoughts this week.

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Paradise lost

  /   in Moment to Moment 9:12 am   /   Comments

TOPSHOTS
Smoke rises from the Westgate mall in Nairobi on September 23, 2013. Kenyan troops were locked in a fierce firefight with Somali militants inside an upmarket Nairobi shopping mall in a final push to end a siege that has left 43 dead and 200 wounded with an unknown number of hostages still being held. Somalia's Al Qaeda-inspired Shebab rebels said the carnage at the part Israeli-owned complex mall was in retaliation for Kenya's military intervention in Somalia, where African Union troops are battling the Islamists. AFP PHOTO / CARL DE SOUZA

A story is told of a young lady who by all accounts has the world at her feet.She is beautiful, newly graduated, very articulate and sought after. She belongs to a prominent family, a father at the top of his profession and a sister who dines with kings. Her mother died giving birth to her, so she had been raised by her sister and a revolving door of stepmothers.

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Paradise sought

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:08 am   /   Comments

Debbie-olujobi-logo

Almost all religions embrace the concept of an afterlife, a continuation of existence on a spiritual realm when the physical life comes to an end. Most propound that life (how well we live it) is an examination that leads to an afterlife in hell or paradise/heaven. The human imagination is beyond comparison in imagery and we all have graphic ideas of heaven and hell. What we imagine paradise to be, I believe is a culmination of all our desires, our fantasies, and even needs.

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Say it like it is

  /   in Moment to Moment 12:00 am   /   Comments

A cross-section of participants

In a few months, I would be able to lay claim to a decade of writing and I always thought it would be great to put the column to rest by just letting out my thoughts unedited and unfettered! It would be liberating to not be so cautious and edited all the time. Having a public platform means truth in whatever form needs to be tailored to suit all sorts of sensibilities and that can often times take the joy out of the art.

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