By Aunty Julie

Dear Julie,

My father-in-law watched an intimate video of myself and my partner. I didn’t know my husband’s father is computer literate and operates the lap-top very well. A video of his son and I smooching and making love was saved in my lap-top which was in the sitting room the day he visited. I was in the bathroom and when I came out, he was already on the lap-top. My husband was not around. I didn’t like that and ever since,I feel funny and strange around especially after he made comments about my body.

Is it okay for me to feel uncomfortable when around him and when he comments on my body,

saying things like, “I don’t understand why men are still attracted to women with stretch marks.”

Ese, Auchi

Dear Ese,

Unfortunately awkward situations do happen, such as people seeing things you don’t intend them to. It is very normal to feel awkward and uncomfortable as a result. It sounds like you would prefer for your father in law to forget he ever saw the video and not speak about it.

If you feel that he is saying these things on purpose, it needs to stop. It isn’t okay for him to make you feel uncomfortable or ashamed of your body. It might not be a pleasant conversation, but you do need to speak up for yourself and tell him calmly and firmly not to make these comments to you.

Sometimes people prefer to do this in a letter so that they can express themselves clearly. If that is also too daunting perhaps your partner can have the conversation?

Take some time to think about how you want to express your views so that you can do it calmly, as yelling or threatening certainly won’t help the situation.