By Donu Kogbara

The “festive season” is not festive for everyone; and I’ve been thinking about Vanguard readers who didn’t have merry Christmases.

Happiness is as much about psychological wellbeing and peace of mind as material comforts; and the privileged are not immune from the vagaries of the human condition. As someone very wise once said: Money is not everything.

Some of you will have been too sick – or too racked with anxiety about practical and/or emotional problems – to completely relax and joyfully celebrate Jesus Christ’s birth (or, if not Christian, to just enjoy the holiday period) with your families and friends. Others will have been victims of terrorism or crime.

You may be one of the fortunate few who never has to worry about basics like how to keep a roof over your head, how to pay school fees or how to put food on the table. But you may still have been miserable on the 25th because, for example, you’d lost a loved one or were concerned about an ailing marriage.

We all know that traumas like bereavement are inevitable. And let’s face it: We’re all bound to stumble and fail in future because nobody is perfect.  Meanwhile, poverty and other social ills will never be entirely eliminated.

In other words, pain is an unavoidable part of life. And sure, some unfortunate souls – psychiatric patients, for instance – are so fragile that they are totally helpless. But most of us possess the power to deal with pain in a positive way and to improve our characters, existences and the environments we inhabit.

Most of us CAN, in the coming months, strive to control our weaknesses…and make special efforts to make the world a better place for the folks around us…and learn how to handle tough challenges as adeptly as possible.

I wish you luck and courage in 2014…and pray that you will embrace kindness.

Jonathan, obasanjo, etc

I’ve said so much about the open letter that Obasanjo addressed to President Jonathan and the open letter that IyaboObasanjo subsequently addressed to her Dad; and I’m tired of dwelling on bitter open letters at great length!

So let me just say that the latest open letter – from Mr President to Obasanjo – a) contained quite a few truths and fair comments and b) that I hope that Jonathan and his ex-mentor will patch up their quarrel before too long.

Nigeria needs progress and harmony, not constant wahala; and I am sick of the toxic conflicts that are messing up a Niger Deltan Presidency I campaigned for.

Jonathan is embroiled in too many tensions with too many people at the moment…including members of his own Party; and hawkish advisors who are urging him to adopt uncompromising positions are not doing him any favours.

Five Governors and several legislators have recently walked out on him. This massive political humiliation could have been avoided, if you ask me; and if I were in Jonathan’s shoes, I would go out of my way to prevent further defections to the increasingly buoyant APC and shore up my shaky support base.

I personally have nothing against AlhajiBamangarTukur, the Chairman of the PDP; but he is immensely controversial and I don’t see the point of retaining a Chairman who is so divisive at a time when an election is around the corner.

Gracious Graca

Before I sign off this week, I want to make a belated observation about the late great Nelson Mandela’s recent burial.

While the world was heaping deserved praise on a fearless freedom fighter, globally revered icon and brave Thembu (Xhosha) warrior of distinction who was, in my opinion, the most morally credible leader in the history of modern Africa, my eyes idly strayed towards the heart-broken senior women he left behind.

I was fascinated by the relationship between his current and ex spouses…and immensely touched by the graciousness displayed by his wonderful widow, Graca.

Graca allowed Winnie, the former wife and mother of most of his children, to sit by his bedside while he lay dying. She also permitted Winnie – who helped to liberate him from a 28-year jail term – to fully participate in the funeral. At every juncture, Graca and Winnie stood next to each other, united in grief.

Many women would have regarded a predecessor as a bitter rival, especially one as famous and onetime-mega-beautiful as Winnie. Many women would have flatly refused to allow any other female that level of access, attention and support.

But not Graca, who doesn’t appear to have a petty or jealous bone in her body.

What class! What reasonableness! What compassion! What a role model!