IT’S been going on for ages, often discussed in hushed tones, a name is finally pinned to it. Polyamory. Monogamy, although still by far the most popular choice, isn’t the only option any more. In fact, more and more couples are classing themselves as polyamorous, even though many of you readers have no idea what it means. So what exactly is polyamory? According to reports: “It’s the practice of engaging in multiple sexual relationships with the consent of all people involved. This means that both partners within the relationship have mutually agreed to have sex with other people whilst remaining totally committed to another.”
A bit far-fetched, you think? Well, not really. But is it the same as polygamy? Well not quite. The words might sound the same, but the meanings could not be more different. The report continues: “Polygamy is marrying multiple partners, whereas polyamory is opening up your relationship or marriage to other partners without· formal commitment. Polyamory is all about sexual relationships, not marriage, so be sure not to confuse the two.
“Not anyone can be polyamorous. As with anything, it’s each to their own. If you go for a meal for instance, you can’t just order the same food for everyone because some might not like spicy food, and some may not like a certain stew. Some might like only vegetables. You get my drift? Polyamory is about preference – a choice of consensually.
open up a relationship to multiple partners. It wouldn’t suit everyone, but for those who it does, it definitely works.”
Isn’t Polyamory cheating? In a word, no. That is if you’re playing by the rules. If you would like your relationship to be polyamorous, first there must be a certain degree of honesty and communication between you and your significant other. You would BOTH have to agree to open up your relationship to include multiple sexual partners to class your relationship as being wholly polyamorous. If you decide to have sex with other people without speaking to your partner and hiding the truth about your liaisons, THAT’S when it’s deemed to be cheating. It’s not a fine line. They’re pretty different things and it all comes down to mutual consent. If you don’t have mutual consent, you don’t have fidelity. It’s as simple as that!
Would you call polyamorous people perverts? Certainly not! The report continues: “Polyamory is not a sordid sexual practice and doesn’t necessarily involve whips and chains – although with some people, it might. In that respect it is the same case for monogamous relationships. Polyamory is fundamentally about having more than
one sexual partner. And, again, this doesn’t suggest that they are having sex with multiple people all at the same time! A polyamorous relationship involves having sex with more than one person, but this might even just be conventional missionary sex and perhaps a casual relationship.
“Don’t simply assume that because two people open up their relationship to others they must be chasing kinky fantasies because chances are, they’re not. Do polyamorous people get jealous? Well, they’re human, so of course they do! Jealousy is a perfectly natural emotion when your significant other is involved, even when there’s consent on both sides. In fact, in most instances, a little jealousy is actually quite healthy as it’s a clear indicator that you care about that person.
“Jealousy can naturally be toxic. People in polyamorous relationships communicate a lot, perhaps in a little more depth than those in monogamous relationships, in order to build and maintain the levels of trust. The more trust there is, the less jealousy there will be.”
In case you’re wondering what level of honesty exists between polyamorous people, the report goes on to say that: “For any relationship to be successful, honesty must form the foundation, whether it’s a polyamorous one or not. All relationships require trust and commitment – but without honesty, they are completely cancelled out, leaving a relationship in tatters. If you can communicate your feeling, your thoughts, your wants, your likes and your dislikes to your partner, the chances are you’ll be more empathetic and compassionate. And that means your relationship – polyamorous or not – will be stronger than ever.”