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We were both virgins


I’m almost 20 and my girlfriend, who attends the same university as me is two years younger.

We met early last year and love each other to bits.

A couple of months ago, we decided that we wanted to lose our virginity together, but when we made love, I climaxed in less than five minutes.

My girlfriend assured me that this didn’t matter and I should forget about it. Since then, we’ve made love thrice more. Each time, the same thing has happened.

I feel very embarrassed and I don’t want it to ruin our relationship.

Do you think there is something wrong with me?

Sam, by e-mail

Dear Sam,

For a novice at love-making, you’re exercising remarkable self-control and should congratulate yourself.

Believe me, a lot of men would give their right arm to go for five minutes! Men are designed to make love quickly. It’s only recently that more couples discovered the pleasure of prolonged love-making.

Taking time allows the woman a chance to reach orgasm too and gives both partners immense pleasure.

The joy of lovemaking soon becomes as much about travelling as about arriving.

Yet, this requires the male to distract himself from his ultimate mission and to focus on what comes before.

The trick takes a while to learn.

If you feel you’re about to climax after five minutes, when you’d prefer to wait until 15 or 50 minutes have passed, withdraw, change position or think about something else.

But love-making is not about the man or the woman giving a world-class performance – the great thrill is simply sharing love with the person you love and adore.


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