By LAJU ARENYEKA

To put it mildly, raising a family is a full time job. So is pursuing a university education. Imagine doing both at the same time. In this piece, get inspired by the stories of women who have successfully managed quad life and family life.

Temitope Ojora, an English Language graduate, had all her three children as a student. She said: “It wasn’t easy, but it was fun. My children were very accommodating during my time in school, and my mother-in-law helped me out with them. I would go to her place every now to see them. At times, it was very stressful but it was worth it.”

Another new graduate, Tosin Olojede said: “I had both my boys in school. I had one when I was in 300 level and the other in 400 level. I had my last baby when I was writing my final exams. My baby was just two weeks old when I started my final exams. Then, my mum would come with me to school and my husband gave me his car.”

Temitope and Tosin’s past experiences are now a reality for student mothers like Olasemi Ajao, a final year student at a university in Lagos who had her first baby last year. “Having a baby in school has really affected my academics. In my 100 and 200 levels, I was doing very well, but by 300 level when I had her, I couldn’t concentrate.

“My result in first semester 300 level was rubbish as I carried over almost all my courses. By second semester, I really had to sit up, so I moved to my parents’ house. I would breastfeed my baby from night until morning, and then go to school in the morning. By then, even though I failed two courses, my result was better.”

Another student, Joyce Ekokogbe, told Quadlife about one of her most trying experiences as a student-mother. She said: “During the last exams, I was supposed to be in school by 11.00 a.m. but I wasn’t sure I was going to make it in time for my paper.

“My sister-in-law wasn’t around and there was no one to help watch the baby. I was so confused. Eventually, it was my husband that came to school with me. He stayed in the car, and helped watch the baby while I wrote my exams.”

Someone once said that the illiterates of the 21st Century are not those who can’t read or write, but those who can’t learn, unlearn, and relearn. It doesn’t matter whether they are children fresh out of secondary school or mothers fresh out of the delivery room; quality education is for all.

Despite the stress that accompanies the situation, Joyce does not agree that having a baby during her first degree has affected her academics. According to her, “Having a baby in school hasn’t really affected my academics. I read when he’s asleep. Even when he’s awake, I give him things to play with while I study.”

For student-mother, Davis Kadijat, “the baby doesn’t affect my studies, in fact, because he wakes me up in the night and I can read after feeding him.”

When Quadlife asked these student-mothers what steered them along a combined course of matrimony and higher education at the same time, a variety of reasons emerged.

“It all boils down to whatever opportunity comes first to you; whether marriage or education,” said Joyce. “I was ready for marriage, but I hadn’t gotten admission into the university yet, so I took the one that came first.”

Kadijat said “I was in the relationship before I entered school and I told my husband that I’d get married in my 300 level, that’s what I did.”

Olasemi’s said “I was in 200 level when I got married and it was during the strike. Just after my introduction, I realized that I was pregnant and abortion was out of the question, so we got married. God has helped me and here I am in 400 level with my baby.”

Not all first degree mums have babies. Farouk Sekinat’s 20 year old daughter who doubles as her schoolmate, and her 14 year old in secondary school cannot be mistaken as babies. This mother who studies law at LASU said: “I had all my kids before I came into school.

“I did my Diploma in 1999. But I didn’t have all the requirements for direct entry. After that I kept on doing exams till I got into school in 2008. I refused to give up on my dream to study law.”

With the increasing demand placed on undergraduate students of Nigerian universities, coupled with the economic and emotional sacrifices necessary to raise a family, would these women go down the same path if they had another chance?
Temitope said: “I don’t regret having my children in school at all but I don’t know if I’d do it all over again now because the economy really isn’t what it used to be.”

“If I were to do it all over again,” Joyce said, “I would like to be through with my university education before getting married and having a baby.”

For Tosin “If I were to do it all over again, I would wait till after my first degree before getting married because it’s not really easy to face your education, and at the same time, keep your husband, and raise your children. But I thank God for everything. I won’t advise people to do that, especially now that the world is moving very fast.”