By Omuyiwa Adetiba
Let me start by relating experiences I have had in the past ten years or so as examples of the values we now see as the norm and try to connect the dots.

A young girl had just finished her JAMB but didn’t fancy her chances of getting a good grade so expected her father to whisk her abroad like some of her mates for her tertiary education. She was irritated and annoyed when her father told her he could not afford it. Her irritation turned to consternation when she saw that her petulance wasn’t going to make her father change his mind.

This was when she turned to me. I was to make her dad see reason. When I told her that her father probably could not afford a UK education given the costs in tuition, accommodation and allowances, she looked at me and stated incredulously “But he is the MD of a multinational company”. “He is still a salary earner with many responsibilities,” I retorted.

Still not convinced, she argued “but his contemporaries and even those junior to him are sending their children abroad. How are they doing it?” It was difficult to tell a 16-year old that what she saw as foolishness or stupidity or even stinginess from her father was actually uprightness and what she thought was a shining example of generosity and care from her father’s contemporaries was actually a tainted example.

Related to this, was the story of a single mother whose playful son was about to sit for JAMB. She went ahead to secure the co-operation of a couple of JAMB officials who promised her the computers would generate a good result for her son. She then went to talk to some professors from the university she had attended to get him a good professional course. Again, it would be difficult to tell this 16-year-old boy that what her mother did was not only fraudulent, it was not in his best interests. If his goal in life was to be successful, he had to learn to apply himself.

Many years ago, I was trying to raise

money for a project and talked to some high net worth individuals as prospective investors. I had a tidy sum at some point which I warehoused in a friendly bank since the money was not yet enough for the project. A senior bank executive who was a friend approached me and advised on how to turn the funds around and make a neat sum for myself.

I could then use whatever money I made to increase my shareholding. He was surprised when I said I was not interested because that was not the condition under which I secured the funds. ‘Suppose something goes wrong?’ I asked. He scoffed at my fears and asked derisively ‘How do you think promoters pay for their part of the equity?

This is one of the games they play’. He left wondering at my stupidity and refusal to be ‘smart’. A related story was that of an entrepreneur who got some friends and associates to invest in his dream. After two years of hard work, he was proud of the success he had made of the project and got an accountant from a reputable firm to take a look at his company’s statement of affairs.

To his shock, the accountant said he was courting trouble as the figures were too good too soon and might get the investors to be more interested in the goings on within the company.

The best way to get them off his back was to declare a pittance as dividend while complaining about the harsh operating environment. It was a cynical advice from someone who understood the dubious nature of Nigerian businessmen.

A few years ago, an acquaintance wanted to give his daughter out in marriage and decided to pull out the stops. Along the way, he sold a good plot of land in Ikeja to help finance the wedding.

A few short months after the wedding, he happened to pass where the land was situated and was surprised to find that the shabby fence and gate he had erected before had been pulled down and replaced with an imposing one. This was when he had his twinge of regret. For a few hours of revelry, he had sacrificed a good investment.

A related story was that of a man who sold his land to buy a jeep because that was what his friends were using. Or a daughter who wanted a destination wedding in Jamaica to be followed by a honeymoon cruise and expected her father to foot the bill.These were all stories of people who wanted to make an impression in a society that puts a premium on the trappings of wealth however acquired.

On the other side of the spectrum was the story of a poor widow of two adolescent children. Although a Muslim, she took shelter in a church and was eventually rescued by a church member who gave her a room in his boy’s quarters. The older son soon finished his senior secondary school and started loitering around the neighbourhood.

Their benefactor worked in an oil company and was able to offer him a job as a petrol attendant but the boy was extremely reluctant to take up the job.

The man was to learn later from his driver that that boy said the station was too close to his school and his school mates would make fun of him.This was a boy who was homeless three short years ago and whose mother could use every penny, worrying about peer impression.

These examples might seem disparate but if we care to connect the dots, we will find a society without enduring values. A society that believes more in façade than substance.

A society that believes in cutting corners and in bribery. A society which defines duplicity as smart. A society with very weak institutions where the operators openly connive with outside perpetrators without any fear of consequences. A society where the only punishment for a deal gone wrong is a mere loss of ‘invested’ money.

This is a society where the moral institutions—the church, family and community—have taken sides with the rich. Unfortunately, our kids have grown up to see public officers as rich; disregard for due process as smart and ‘man know man’ as the way to go.

The irony is that we all crave the rule of law; we all want an orderly society. But we are unwilling to subject ourselves to the discipline of hard work, merit and due process. Our societal values need a total overhaul. Who will bell the cat?