Dear Bunmi,

When my wife and I decided we didn’t want any more children after six, I volunteered to have vasectomy because my wife couldn’t tolerate oral contraceptives, and other birth control methods didn’t really agree with her.

That has not stopped me from having relationship with other women. On the contrary, I became more relaxed, since the fear of unwanted pregnancy no longer existed.

A few weeks ago, a girlfriend I hadn’t seen for a long time suddenly resurfaced with a 10-year-old daughter in tow.

We had a really steamy relationship once, and she was the one who simply disappeared.

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She now tells me it was because she was pregnant and didn’t want an abortion. I had to tell her there was no way I could ever be the father because of my operation. She thought I was joking because, according to her, having a vasectomy is unAfrican.

I had this operation years back abroad and don’t have proof of it currently. How can I convince her I am indeed infertile?

Bobby, by e-mail

Dear Bobby,

You can either have a sperm count test taken or do a paternity test with this supposed daughter of yours. Though vasectomies are usually effective, in some cases, partial fertility has been known to be restored in patients. Have any of these tests and put all of your minds at rest.

In future, if you must play around, it wouldn’t do you any harm to let your victims know about your operation. You also need to protect yourself from STDs by using the condom. Share your problems and release your burden.

Write now to Dear Bunmi, Vanguard Newspapers, P.M.B 1007, Apapa, Lagos, or [email protected]

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