Absence doesn’t necessarily make the heart grow fonder

Dear Bunmi,

I’m a 28-year-old single mother of an adorable son. I’m currently involved with a man who is very nice to me and my son, and I love him. The problem is that my ex has come back into my life.

He was my first true love and we were together for over four years. We had the child together. Now he wants us to get back together and I’m afraid I might love him more than my current boyfriend.

The problem is that he has two sides – he’s loving, caring and a lot of fun to be with most times, but he’s also a skirt-chaser. I’m really confused, as I don’t want to make a mistake by getting back with him, only to regret it.

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Jacqueline, by e-mail.

Dear Jacqueline,

A woman in love with two men needs to be extremely careful. Allow yourself to get to know this new man in your life better but encourage your ex to have a good rapport with his son.

As time goes on, it will become clear whether he can love you unconditionally or not. Just as you once had to accept that he’d played away with other women, he will need to accept that you continue to sleep with your man.

But is this what you really want? In the end, you might discover that you love neither of them in any way that will last. Deep love is committing to only one person, unconditionally.

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