Dear Bunmi,

My husband and I met in our late teens. We lived in the same area but went to different universities. Everyone said we were the perfect couple, and we eventually got married.

We rarely argued and had no secrets, or so I thought. A few months ago, I met a girl at a close friend’s house and she said she attended the same university as my husband’s. We got chatting and I asked her if she knew my husband. She started laughing and said ‘all the girls had ‘known’ him’. When I asked what she meant, she said that he’d been out with almost every girl in their university year.

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You can imagine how upset I was. I asked my husband about it when I got home and he admitted I hadn’t been his only girlfriend. When he saw how upset I was, he told me he loved me enough to marry me. Is that supposed to be a consolation? I worry that we might go out and run into girls he’d slept with in the past.

Samantha, by e-mail.

Dear Samantha,

Your husband was a teenage boy doing what teenage boys did when he was at the university. He’s now a husband and father and the issue for you now should be less about the infidelity, and more about the way he readily admitted it. He is a responsible man now, and must realise how hurt you were when his past caught up with him. You need to talk to him about how you feel and what your fears are. You should be able to move on from this.



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