Dear Bunmi,

I’ve been married to a man I thought was caring and loving for seven years and we have two children. A few years into our marriage, my husband went to work in one of his firm’s branches for three months. When he returned, I discovered he had been phoning and texting one of my friends, making sexually explicit comments and arranging to meet for sex.

When I confronted him, he said nothing physical had happened and begged for forgiveness.

Lately, I found out he’d met up with a few women for sex. I’m really fed up with him as it’s obvious he is a sex addict. I’m stuck with the children all day after work whilst he fools around.

I don’t think I can take any more. I would rather be a single mother than be made a laughing stock because of a shameless husband.

Tolu, by e-mail.

Dear Tolu,

You need to take one step at a time. When you’re convinced your husband’s addiction couldn’t be cured, tell him once again of your decision to leave if he’s not ready to change.

If you’re tough with him, he might realise all he has to lose. If he doesn’t, then you’re definitely better off without him.

It is unfortunate that men in your husband’s shoes have a gift of deceiving their spouses until it becomes too traumatic for them to leave. Seek counselling if you think it will help.