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Won’t commit at 18

Dear Bunmi,

I lost my virginity this year to a friend of my brother’s after he told me he was in love with me. We are both 18 and we get on very well and I thought the love-making would cement our relationship. You can therefore imagine how gutted I was when I learnt he already had a girlfriend. I was so disappointed that I tried to call the whole thing off, but he assured me I was the one he loved and should give him time to finish with his girlfriend. I’ve slept with him again because, I really love him. Should I believe him?

Margie, by e-mail.


Dear Margie,

I don’t think you should. He wants to have his cake and eat it, and while you’re willing enough for him to make love to you, he has no incentive to finish with this other girl. Who knows, he might be making love to her too. At 18, you shouldn’t be so eager to rush into a relationship with a man simply because he says he loves you. You have your whole life in front of you to settle with someone you’re in tune with. Tell your current lad you won’t have anything to do with him now until he dumps his girlfriend and see how he takes it!

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