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Is it normal to be so laid back?

Dear Bunmi,

I met my current boyfriend towards the end of last year and we’ve never had a fight. This may sound crazy but I’ve tried to get him mad by being bitchy for no reason.

I have also deliberately stood him up but he never takes the bait. Is he for real?

Does it mean that he’s not passionate about me?

Dupe, by e-mail.

 

Dear Dupe,

I know my job is to help solve problems, but I want to offer you this possibility – could you still be in the honeymoon phase of a great relationship and there isn’t any problem? It is one of life’s great ironies that the gender responsible for hunting, war, and professional wrestling will do anything to avoid fights with the opposite sex.

Why do most men hate fighting with women so much? It is possible to have a wrestling match with you because he’s not into you, but I doubt that is the case. More likely, he avoids fights because he thinks they’re an admission of failure, both in your relationship and in himself.

So, short of pouring his cold glass of beer over his head in order to make him mad, all you can do is make sure he knows that fighting is a healthy part of a relationship.

Has he ever done anything that bothered you? If not, hold on to that guy, he is a rarity! If he has, then you need to bring it up, discuss it, and resolve it to show him that problems should be addressed and then solved, leaving your relationship better off than it is now.


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Comments expressed here do not reflect the opinions of vanguard newspapers or any employee thereof.