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Should I ask him to marry me?

Dear Bunmi,

My partner and I have been together for over 10 years. We have a great relationship and a two-year old daughter. But there is a problem – he simply is not interested in getting married. Recently we’ve been talking about another baby so our daughter won’t be an only child. As good as this idea sounds, I don’t think I want another child out of wedlock.

My partner is dragging his feet on the topic of marriage. He says he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me, but isn’t ready for marriage yet. Do you think I should ask him outright by proposing to him?

Busayo,  by e-mail.


Dear Busayo,

After 10 years together, you must really know him inside out. He’s been honest with you about how he feels so leave it up to him to ask you. Who knows, he might even be planning a proposal soon. In the meantime, make sure he understands how you feel about marriage and kids, then try to be patient. You can’t force issue on something as important as this.

Women over the years have resorted to subtle ways to force their reluctant partners to ‘propose’ because they know that if they had to wait for their man to propose, knowing if they didn’t they wouuld be waiting for ever  for him to propose marriage.



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