WHETHER you’re single or in a relationship, the relatively new year is a great time to reassess your love life. Do you think you need to add a little sparkle to your appearance since you dread looking in the mirror? It’s then time to try a new hairstyle and give your confidence a boost by buying a few new outfits.
Whilst you are at it, throw out all the tired underwear in your lingerie drawer. Yes, I can hear your groan of disapproval as you read this and wondered where the money would come from. Now that a chunk of your saving has gone thanks to your having a good time over the festive period, precious little is left for frivolities. Nothing need to cost the earth however. One item at a time would do and unveiling your goodies in new wrappings might even force your partner to shell out on more new outfits!
If, however, you think your cosy relationship is getting a bit too claustro-phobic, then take advantage of he weather now the rains have been beaten back into the clouds and get out of the house more. You can even book into a reasonably cheap hotel for a romantic weekend away. Nothing strenuous as retiring to your partner’s village house only for you to be hunting down bush-meat for exotic stews. If retreat you must, get a few natives to help you prepare the meals while you explore the serenity of the nights by indulging in as much out-door sex as you can. It might be illegal but the changes of your being caught at such an outback is zilch. Unless your groans of pleasure give the indigenes enough reason to hang around your love-nests at nights for more peep- shows!
Whilst you’re at it, add a bit of spice to your sex life by changing your usual sex routine. Experiment with new sexual positions or a new technique. Be open-minded and you could open a whole new chapter to your sexual relationship.
As you become more adventurous with the type of sex toys you want to try with your partner, don’t do anything to scare him or put him off. An acquaintance recently travelled and came back with a massive dildo. As soon as her new partner saw it, he was dumbfounded. ‘It’s so huge!’ he hissed. ‘Well, how are you sure it’s not the right size for me?’ He said nothing, but that was the beginning of the end of the relationship. There was no way his modest bits could compete with such a monstosity!
Early in the year is also the season that is always associated with a new life. If you and your man are talking about having a baby this year, you need to take steps to maximize your chance of conception. Apart from rushing excitedly to the bedroom all the time, you need to relax and take things slow so your partner won’t feel like a baby machine. Both you and your man should stop smoking and cut down on alcohol as well as taking plenty of exercise. Experts advise you eat a healthy diet with lots of fruits and vegetables and women should take a multi-vitamin with added folate to get your body ready for pregnancy. The exciting bit here is that there are men who actually find pregnant women sexy. Some have lusted and bedded other pregnant women even whilst their own partners were pregnant!
To you married couples out there, the news is not that cheering. It was estimated that a worrisome percentage of the marriages contracted last year ended up in divorce or separation – no thanks to the pressure from the credit crunch affecting many existing marriages. Newlyweds should take note that the passion-fuelled first few years of a relationship are easy. Your partner is new and you have so much to explore in the bedroom and out. But after a few years, life can feel predictable and stale. ‘People’s thoughts and opinion change through life so there’s always something you can learn. “The same applies to sex,” observes a psychologist. “Don’t stop experimenting and keep your sex life varied and interesting”.
“It’s easy to take your partner for granted but we all need our self-esteem boosted and it is important to know your lover values, respects and desires you. Don’t stop showing how much you love and appreciate your partner.” When was the last time you actually seduced your partner? Can’t remember? Romance shouldn’t stop with marriage. If you haven’t seduced your lover recently, you need to have a special night out for both of you. It is a misconception that marriages break down because of arguments. Many couples drift apart because they forget to talk. It is easy to put off tricky discussions but it’s important to share feelings.
No matter how good your relationship is right now, don’t be complacent.
All relationships go through difficult times, moments when patience and resolve are tested. Remind yourself of the good times when you’re feeling low and write down all the positive aspects of your marriage.
Are you currently having an affair and patting yourself in the back that you’re having the best of two worlds? You need to take a break right now! Affairs are nothing but “chop and wipe mouth” indulgence. Being caught could be terrible and a death knell to your marriage. Ditch the desert and go back to the main-meal – your partner!
This is hoping that the rest of the year will see you all fans of this column getting in better shape. One way to do so is step up your having sex often. It doesn’t matter if you don’t have a partner for now – your sex toys can give you as much orgasms as you want until the right partner turns up!