DearBunmi,
When we were quite young and living abroad (there are three of us), our mum got involved with a bad crowd and took to drugs. She became a drug addict, used and peddled the stuff, and got involved with a toy-boy who introduced her to full time trafficking.

She was eventually caught abroad and served time. Through all this, I had to bring up my brother and sister with some of the drug money she was always
providing. My siblings have decent education, at least, and I’m now married with kids.

Because of the stigma, I now live in another city with my family but the horrible memories of my tainted childhood haunt me still. My wife knows about my mother serving time but doesn’t know she’s still in her drugs racket. Will I ever be able to live a normal life?
Chidi by e-mail.

Dear Chidi,
My heart really goes out to you. Dreadful and traumatic things have happened in your life but don’t fall into the trap of thinking you’re doomed to be unhappy forever.

Agreed, what you went through can affect you badly. But lots of people who had awful times when they were young are living fulfilled lives.
Also, the fact that you were a teenager, rather than a baby, when these bad things happened means you have much better chance of recovering.

So, don’t despair. Put the past behind you and put all your energy into doing the best for yourself and your family. The best way to leave our childhood
trauma in the past it belongs to, is to build a fantastic adult life.