Dear Bunmi,

I got married two years ago when I hadn’t completely fallen out of love with my ex-girlfriend. I met my wife on the rebound after my ex left me for another man. But the relationship didn’t work out and she’s started ex-mailing me. My wife is kind, gentle and good company but I now realize that my ex is the love of my life. My marriage is currently childless. What should I do?

Smart, by e-mail.

Dear Smart,

Before you do anything rash, like throwing away your marriage, stop and think about your real feelings for your ex. It’s easy to look back at a past relationship with rose-tinted glasses, but she was the one who chose to finish with you and must have had her reason, which may well still exist.

I would try to make your marriage work, if I were you. Don’t rush back to your ex without being sure she’s not also settling for you on the rebound. What happens if what she considers a better option shows up – again?