Minister of State for Education, Mr. Ezenwo Wike, has urged principals of the 104 Federal Unity Colleges across the country to move the schools away from the status quo by displaying professional competence and quality leadership.
Once; he actually gave a date, flight number and airline, I went to the airport with the children, my sister and her husband and a younger brother of his too, we waited after confirming that the flight was actually coming to Nigeria, but you won’t believe that my husband was not on that flight, he’d merely fooled us all
Though, even back in the olden days, the act is usually received with mixed feelings among diverse people. However, with the era of male supremacy gradually fading out, and more women gaining financial and educational leverage, many, including men, now see wife battering as an attack and abuse of the supposedly weaker sex. Add to this is the enactment of laws by at various levels of government in the country against domestic violence, some of which attract stiff penalties if found guilty of.
The misunderstanding was between me and my brother-in-law, the last born of the family. It would have been a minor incident but for the way it was handled. However, it was the quarrel that opened my eyes and made me aware of the kind of people I lived with. Most of all, that my mother-in-law was not the person I took her to be.
None however has been able to tell me what they would do except to slap him back. I realize I am just postponing the evil day by not making up my mind as regards the proposal with Layi. I can have all that any woman may desire from a marriage, material wise that is.
He kept on lamenting that I had disgraced him in front of everybody and that he will deal with me. I shouted back at him to come out and deal with me. I just didn’t know what got into my head that night.
Lizzy, (30), a Secretary narrates how she was also harassed by the Personnel Manager of a company where she went job hunting when she first arrived Lagos. She concludes her story below as Bimpe, another respondent takes over:
I was the first to find my tongue, and so I told him it would depend on him and the company. So, he said he has discovered a way to help him make up his mind. That he would need us to help him out. Since whoever gets the job depends on him, and both of us were qualified, the one willing to sleep with him will get the job!
Before now, I had heard rumours concerning her exploits with young men, and I did my best to be careful. So I guarded against being a prey to her whenever the time arose. I prayed also and believed God was in control.
The issue of sexual harassment is not a new one to the ears, it is a thing that has been in existence in our society since ages past, despite the fact that we try to sweep it under the carpet. My case is not quite different from those of others, its just that I am a guy and lot of people feel it is quite unusual My name is Daniel, a 27 year old. I am very handsome and well cultured and goal driven. My sexual harassment began when I got employed in the firm I did my youth service.
I was afraid he would fail me if I turned him down. I would have no one to report him to because I have no witness to corroborate any story I tell. Besides, we are told that most of the lecturers who engage in this dastardly act operate a cartel of sort. All they need to do is ask a colleague to fail one in order to take the blame or suspicion off their shoulders.
It all started shortly after we began taking his course. He would go on and on about our dressing, picking some of us out of the crowd. I was his first casualty, nothing I did seems to please him. One day he told me to see him after the end of the lecture in his office. He said he wanted to ask me a few things and advise me on how to go about life. It was a big lie.
Even the most powerful or wealthy woman will still fall at the altar of love. Most of us, will do the most foolish things when it comes to matters of the heart. Many of us would take the most ridiculous of risks, just to prove our love. And many will also make the grievous sacrifices, including family and friends, just to remain in love.
Some who eagerly rush into it, do so because they have the assurance that their wives or their wives families can conveniently pick the bills, and they will not be affected in any way. This is the major reason why a lot of men commit all sorts of things in order to get money to buy cars, build houses and acquire other properties of their choice before even thinking of getting married.
There is a Yoruba adage that says that you cannot hide your nakedness from the person that will bath your body after your demise. So, whenever you remember that neither of you is complete without the other, then, you’ll know there is no point keeping secrets. It’s like running from your own shadow. Doing that can only mean that you have some hidden agenda. And that is dangerous for any relationship.
Hi, Who is your confidant? Is it a friend or your spouse? How much of your secrets can you share with your spouse?
Love, they say is about giving and sharing, which can only thrive where there is mutual trust, understanding and effective communication between the partners. So, who better can you share your secrets with other than the one you claim to love, cherish and share your body with? The one who is supposed to know you inside out.
There is also another very difficult secret a woman cannot tell her husband, and that is when the woman brings an illegitimate child into the family. You know, it is believed that it is only a woman that knows the father of her child because the child belongs to anyone whom she gives it to. These things happen all the time, and the reasons vary from one situation to another.
Virginity is a thing a woman can not discuss with her husband. In our own days, virginity was still accorded much respect and a woman who still has her’s was the pride of her husband. But all the same it did not really matter where the woman is not with it.
Any man who puts his life and livelihood in the hands of a woman does so at his own peril. It is not possible for you to discuss your family matters with your wife because most of the things they will say does not concern her in the first instance, and sometimes when they do, they are most likely not to be in her favour. By discussing whatever was said with her, you will only be poisoning her mind against them.
If you tell her from the beginning, she might even discourage you from doing the business, especially, considering the risk or the amount of money involved. Many woman are not that bold when it comes to risks.
In the case of sudden death, which can go either way, it could be you or him, everything depends on God. Whatever I have as my personal savings is what I plan to fall back on in case of any accidental eventualities. You need to see what widows go through in some cultures to know just a little of what I am talking about. Once a man dies, it is assumed that the wife must have something to do with it because she has something to gain from his death.
I believe I did all I did with sincerity, honesty and love for my friend and was trying to protect her. If we sat at the same table, there was no way my husband would not have discovered the identity of the man, and you can imagine the type of problem we will all be in right now.
She doesn’t know that I have spies in her shop who give me full details of what she does there. She has a new boyfriend who has entered her system, so she can’t reason properly anymore. I was told by my spies that they were discussing my affairs at the boutique over a bottle of Stout. Can you imagine? Maybe she was drunk then, because I still find it difficult to believe.
Hi, Ever imagined what the ground would look like should two Elephants fight as a saying goes? Not very pretty I think. Then, take this other scenario. Imagine what would happen when things fall apart between two very close women who once did almost everything together. Worse than the joint efforts of two elephants I [...]
Ade, (29), Accountant: “I can’t remember clearly if the pains started immediately after I began menstruating or not. But if it didn’t, it couldn’t have been much longer. I began menstruating at the age of 14 years, a bit late because many of my age mates had started before then. Whenever the thing came, I would be so ill that going to school used to be a great problem.
When I started, I usually feel pains on the first day. But after the first day the pain subsides and then its just the flow. I used to think that all my blood will dry up with time if care was not taken because of the heaviness of my flow. So, I used to take blood tonic. But over the years, the flow has reduced. I guess it has found a pattern.
I started menstruation at the age of 10. When I started, I felt strange because I thought I’d injured my self. But I could not recall how. I was so scared that I couldn’t tell my mum about it. Before it happened, I had no prior information about it, so that really made me scared all the more. It was my aunty that saw me and now told my mum about it.
Have you ever tried to think back, capture the first time you had sex? What was it like, was it as imagined? When did you first have sex? Why did you do it? With whom and are you still with the person? Given a second chance, will you do the same thing? Together with Onozure Dania, we talked to respondents and bring you their responses below.
Those who want to have sex at this point just pick each other and go into hiding together to do it, while those who don’t, just hide and allow themselves to get caught
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