BUKKY was busy giving the big bedroom a long overdue clean. She was running the vacuum cleaner over her husband’s side of the bed when the flex caught the corner of a partially opened drawer. It had been loose for months and Mati, her husband, hadn’t come round to fixing it yet. As she crouched to free the flex, something shoved amongst the odds- and-ends in the drawer caught her eye. A long brown envelope of the type school reports came in. Whose report could this be? She opened the envelope and saw the surname was her husband’s, but the first name was none of their five children.

The Adrenaline Junkie: If he’s addicted to the rush excitement, not only will you spend all your time watching from the side lines waiting for him to return from his latest adventure, there’s the pressure of constantly delivering his kicks in the bedroom, knowing if you don’t, he’ll just get his thrill from sex on the side.

Knowledge ,experience and the right attitude (performance isn’t measured by the hardness of your erection or the number of orgasms she has). But in all these things, attitude—in other words being open to trying new things, being enthusiastic and non-judgemental— is the most crucial. You spend twice as much time on foreplay as on inter-course: If you’ve stopped thinking of intercourse as ‘sex’ and foreplay as the stuff you’re forced to do before, pat yourself on the back. Intercourse needn’t be the main course, and your session doesn’t have to end when it’s over. Hands and tongues are far more dexterous than an erect penis.

Philip, my friend’s cousin, has always been the darling of every member of their family. A jolly good fellow, his wife also had a huge sense of humour to complement, so they were really a fun couple to be with at any time. It was as if the two were made for each other from heaven. They had everything going for them: good jobs, two beautiful children, a boy and a girl, a house in one of the freshly springing up estates in Ikoyi and holidays out of the country with the children, two or three times a year.

DAYO was in very high spirit as he drove to the university campus, mentally bonking the array of girls that wiggled their hips on his route. He cursed as he saw his 19-year-old daughter in the midst of a few friends. Too late, she’d seen the car. The look on her face was pure joy as she ran towards him. “What are you doing around here daddy.” She squealed. Not actually expecting an answer, she jumped into the passenger seat and babbled on about needing money to go with her friends to an ‘eatry’.