It can be disheartening when one’s expectations are cut off! Over the years I have tried not to want something so badly I become desperate or frustrated. I have also found that enterprise and negotiation work better when one is dispassionate and logical; passion in negotiation most times just convey desperation to others. The best bargaining tool is always a cold and even disparaging exterior; it says that one is willing to walk away from several other options.

By Debbie Olujobi A kiss is a loving seal on affection, a bodily statement that speaks love when words become redundant; a physical expression of love. A kiss is intimate; it connotes familiarity, affection, an emotional currency of a love shared. I don’t refer to the casual cheek to cheek kiss that’s a meaningless greeting […]

There is a saying that there is nothing new under the sun and for every tragedy, there are countless greater tragedies! Pain however can’t be classified or eulogised with fancy words and one thing I find very unbecoming is the comparison of tragedies. It would be better to stay away than to visit someone who is grieving and start telling them about someone who has a bigger problem than they do

The litmus test for any successful relationship or association is growth. I have always believed that a good relationship calls us up higher, we rise to become better, because of the nurture and encouragement we receive. Some people bring out the best in others but there are some extraordinary people who can bring out the best in you when you are at your worst. Kindness and humility is a very rare combination; they go hand in hand but they are not easily found. Now if you go one step further and add generosity to that combination you would get an accurate description of the subject of my thoughts this week.

A story is told of a young lady who by all accounts has the world at her feet.She is beautiful, newly graduated, very articulate and sought after. She belongs to a prominent family, a father at the top of his profession and a sister who dines with kings. Her mother died giving birth to her, so she had been raised by her sister and a revolving door of stepmothers.

Almost all religions embrace the concept of an afterlife, a continuation of existence on a spiritual realm when the physical life comes to an end. Most propound that life (how well we live it) is an examination that leads to an afterlife in hell or paradise/heaven. The human imagination is beyond comparison in imagery and we all have graphic ideas of heaven and hell. What we imagine paradise to be, I believe is a culmination of all our desires, our fantasies, and even needs.

In a few months, I would be able to lay claim to a decade of writing and I always thought it would be great to put the column to rest by just letting out my thoughts unedited and unfettered! It would be liberating to not be so cautious and edited all the time. Having a public platform means truth in whatever form needs to be tailored to suit all sorts of sensibilities and that can often times take the joy out of the art.

The growth or maturity of any individual takes time. Over many years, experiences, associations and interactions, a personality and mindset slowly emerges. A backbone is not just a collection of vertebrae, its a force that is built to support convictions, emotions and beliefs! Over time when a backbone develops emotionally and spiritually, we begin to seek meaning to every decision and question old truths; we need our own conviction to accept other people’s positions.

Does every body pray? Sounds like a stupid question and most people will answer “but of course”. Or perhaps the question should be are we expecting our prayers to be answered? I listened to a sage (Dr Christopher Kolade) a while back and he asked a question that was inspirational and faith building. He said “I know you believe in God but do you believe him?” Its a question that calls to the deep and he had me musing for quite a while.

Human relations is at best delicate and at worst tricky. Being social creatures we thrive based on relationships, mixing views and values, rubbing minds and attributes. In my view most relationships have a life span, at least those that don’t involve blood and covenants do.

Social media combined with technology has connected people all over the world. There are so many vehicles technology employs to marry very strange bedfellows. Face book and the numerous messenger applications have heralded the emergence of a new community.

At which stage in a man’s life is it okay to give up or perhaps give in? Considering I am regarded by most as a hopeless optimist, it’s a negative question to even contemplate. So maybe I should rephrase the question. When will the past stop influencing the present? And at what point should one throw in the towel and accept that the past is a yoke the present always has to carry? Most Christians celebrate their rebirth once they give their lives to Christ; it’s a new beginning; old things are passed away (supposedly).

Evangelism is mandatory in Christendom. We are called to spread the good news of the gospel. I have personally held the opinion that the greatest evangelist is the one whose life and general demeanour does all the preaching. Evangelism is humility, generosity, gentility of spirit, charity and empathy. Words are meaningless when acts run contrary.

Assumption is the basis for every presumption. It is taking a position based on information that is not altogether backed by facts. We assume that A is B because its been proven in the past or it is an idea supported by personal taste or religious or cultural bias.

Popularity must be fun; popular people seem to have a natural flair for getting liked. People want to be around them, things seem to come easily to them and it can look like they have a charmed life. Now we shouldn’t compare being known or even famous to being popular; one is just recognizability while the other combines recognizability with affection and even common affinity.