As some people clock 50 years, they begin to stare at retirement with anxiety. Many people put in 30 to 40 years before retirement. During these years of active service, some acquire reasonable assets and wealth to retire on. But it is not so for some; turning 50 becomes nightmarish because they realize they are getting to the end of their working life with little or nothing to fall back on in retirement.

There is this diminutive and bovine-faced, but immensely gifted, intelligent and very versatile chief executive officer. He had a tall, stupendously handsome, but very lousy and unserious subordinate (let us call him Handsome). The CEO could barely stand him; he hesitated but very little in calling him, “Big for nothing” and “Good for nothing,“ especially if he bungled an official assignment, which was pretty often.

I have been observing this young couple in church since the Sunday after their wedding. They are always on suit-and-suit (clothes made from the same fabric). Over the years, they have had three children and they still wear suit-and-suit to church every Sunday. I saw them again last Sunday and it just occurred to me that this suit-and-suit might be one of their customized conflict resolution mechanisms (personal ways of resolving differences).

I read many novels in those days. But age, new responsibilities and interests have altered my focus. But I cherish the knowledge I acquired from these novels. I remember something I read in one of the novels. A man got paralysed and found himself unexpectedly in a wheelchair. He was naturally downcast and demoralized; life became meaningless. That was when somebody close to him gave him a wakeup call. He told him to stop wallowing in self pity; a man lives not by his ability to run around, but by what he’s got between his temples (his brain).

“I started sleeping with my 15-year-old daughter sometime in January after I lost my job.” This is part of the confession of a 41-year-old father in Vanguard, June 28, 2016. He claims frustration over the loss of his job led him to alcoholism and incest. But he was still sober enough to sleep with his daughter only after his wife has gone to work. He therefore knew full well that what he was doing was wrong.