My boyfriend of four years currently doesn’t want anything to do with me. He is a university lecturer and seems to have more girls needing his attention on campus than me.

They are everywhere. In his office and in the flat the university allocated to him.

I have a very demanding schedule, as I work from home. From time to time, I make time to make his lunch whenever he offers to come over.

Sometimes he forgets to come and I take the food to him, only to find him in the company of these girls.

The last straw was when he specifically requested for food but failed to show up as usual. I then took a food basket to his office, only to find him eating with his girls.

I was livid. I quietly emptied the food on the rug and went off in a huff. I haven’t seen nor heard from him since then and I am still angry to go and find out why. Did I over-react?

Chioma, by e-mail.

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Dear Chioma,

It is obvious that you can’t fully trust your boyfriend, and he is not making much effort to reassure you.

Behaviour like his would drive most women crazy, except he doesn’t consider your relationship serious.

Why don’t you stop the domesticated bit and just enjoy his company? Go out with him when you can and, if you believe in your heart of hearts that he is not the marrying kind, enjoy the relationship whilst you keep your options open.

Throwing tantrums and messing up his office could be scary – maybe that’s why he stays back.

You both need to talk as to what you really expect from this relationship. Four years is a long time to be kept in limbo.

Share your problems and release your burden. Write now to Dear Bunmi: [email protected]

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