By Ekanpou Enewaridideke

A MISTAKEN new dance of reduction, nameless in its taxonomy – as it cannot be named Owigiri, Filete, Egebu, Wabu, Wolowolowo or Agene in Ijaw or any other language – but carrying dance steps quaintly familiar – was recently created by Oweilaemi the uncrowned IYC president II. The echoes of this dance drawn from his celebrated two polices  of displacement and categorical pronouncement have been cleverly extended to the commander of JTF, Rear Admiral Apochi Suleiman, whose JTF has been branded the producer and supplier of the elixir for the endless illegal oil bunkering in the Niger Delta. Because Oweilaemi, upon refined data scientifically analyzed, has discovered the illegal oil bunkering perpetrated by JTF in the Niger Delta, the discovery ingenuity, skill, of Christopher Columbus who discovered the “New World” of the Americas in 1492, and Mungo Park who discovered River Niger, pales in insignificance when juxtaposed with the discovery capacity of the IYC president II.

This earth-shaking, epochal and exceptional discovery was communicated to the public through the New Telegraph of  June 5, 2018 in his usual arcane phraseology that viciously embodies the two policies of displacement and categorical pronouncement intelligently disguised as IYC Accuses JTF of Aiding, Abetting Illegal Oil Bunkering: ‘JTF officials are encouraging illegal bunkering by supplying boats and other equipment to facilitate the illegal activities in the region.’

 

Oweilaemi has eventually occupied the priceless historical space as a very talented dancer who can shimmy and pirouette, silencing the whole world with his mesmerizing performance, but whose graceful dance steps are like the hippopotamus that deviously labours and seeks to kill the canoe man in the guise of a search singly mounted for the canoe afloat on the river. For Oweilaemi to accuse JTF of illegal bunkering, his covert target is to create credibility problem for the JTF Commander, Rear Admiral Apochi Suleiman. The likely peak of the deliberate image problem created for JTF would be the removal of the JTF Commander from the position. The moment Rear Admiral Suleiman is deprived of his JTF COMMANDERSHIP; Oweilaemi’s policies of displacement and categorical pronouncement have won another garlanded golden crown. But can Oweilaemi practically prove to the public that JTF is actually involved in illegal oil bunkering? Has Oweilaemi any candidate for the position of JTF commander? For whom is Oweilaemi working? For Ijaws or for himself?  How does his accusation of JTF help the Ijaw cause? Could this targeted dance of reduction against JTF commander be a signal of the ideational reduction of the IYC president?

The mandate of every IYC president should revolve around creating ideas to tackle the challenges of marginalisation the Ijaws are always subjected to in the Niger Delta. By Oweilaemi’s policies of displacement and categorical pronouncement deployed against the JTF and Okowa-Otuaro, the uncrowned IYC president II has declared himself the nursery for the problems faced by the Ijaws. How does Oweilaemi even get inspired to pursue the implementation of his two policies without distractions despite the veritable distractions everywhere?

The cause of Ijaw is not pretentiously championed by a media falsehood, media scarecrow, systematically  created by Oweilaemi who claims Okowa has done nothing for Ijaw people in Delta state in terms of development, neither is the Ijaw cause better protected when JTF is impetuously accused of aiding and abetting illegal oil bunkering in the Niger Delta. Let Oweilaemi organise workshops for talent-hunt and capacity-development. If talents are discovered and developed in different ways, people would be equipped to face the challenges of today and tomorrow. The talents of Ijaw youths cannot be discovered and developed when the IYC president who should lead the vanguard for talent-development is the manufacturer of a conspiracy to frustrate the campaigns of Okowa-Otuaro; talents cannot be developed when there is a lurking danger teleguided and sponsored by Mr. Oweilaemi in the name of uncrowned floundering IYCSHIP unfortunately blessed with two different heads in one indivisible body –  undeniably Oyintebeic like the proverbial two-headed snake in Ogbobabou forest.

Oweilaemi is not bothered by the today and future of the Delta Ijaws – part of whose future is encapsulated in Okowa-Otuaro ticket. Talents that should be discovered and developed are now gathered and brainwashed by Oweilaemi to form a conspiracy to frustrate the developmental moves of Okowa-Otuaro in 2019. Gathering people to frustrate Okowa-Otuaro’s campaigns in 2019 is a demonstration of abuse of talents that should be developed to move society forward. This contextually throws Oweilaemi up as a hater of the Ijaws in Delta because his supposedly principled stand is contrary to the wise words of Lee Kuan Yew who affirms the power, potential and potency of talent-development in the transformation of a society: ‘When all this happened in 1949, I did not understand the importance of talent, especially entrepreneurial talent, and that trained talent is the yeast that transforms a society and makes it rise’ (554).

The man Oweilaemi is a highly respected lawyer who occasionally sounds too complex and indecipherable in his verbal notation recognizably legalese in identity. The whole thing could now therefore mean a rare case of misunderstanding when he verbally portrayed JTF as perpetrators of illegal oil bunkering in the Niger Delta. Oweilaemi must have been grievously misunderstood by the public when he says Okowa has done nothing for Ijaw people; perhaps, he actually meant to say that Okowa has executed a commendable number of projects in the Ijaws areas of Delta state to merit re-election. His legalese, his arcane phraseology, must have caused this horrible misunderstanding. Now that it has been dialectically conceded that Barrister Oweilaemi was misunderstood and cast as a child who has perfected a conspiracy to dismantle the structurally rigged campaign ship, mistaking Okowa-Otuaro for a floundering, rudderless, non-performing ship already torpedoed by people who should be the custodian of the Okowa-Otuaro ship, and the JTF Commander impulsively mistaken for an implacable lover of illegal oil bunkering in the Niger Delta, let us gracefully render apology to him for a public communication misunderstood and therefore erroneously interpreted. Similarly, Barrister Pereotubo Oweilaemi should henceforth strive to be understood whenever he is on the podium, using only unambiguous language that clearly communicates the fact of the demise of his two policies of displacement and categorical pronouncement because they are the reasons  he has just been terrifyingly misunderstood.

Intriguingly, now that Barrister Pereotubo Roland Oweilaemi has been unambiguously confirmed grievously MISUNDERSTOOD, Okowa and Otuaro have been equally unambiguously understood by him and the public. Therefore, this reincarnated Oweilaemi, this rebooted Oweilaemi, this painstakingly coupled Oweilaemi brotherly bathed with the right anointing oil of truth, now radiating a new effulgence beyond conquest, marks the remarkable coda to my triumphant journey here – knowing fully well that, by this redemptive reversal, Oweilaemi has comparatively become Arkady Babchenko about whom Owei Lakemfa wrote skillfully in the Vanguard of 8 June 2018 entitled ‘Living with  fake people’, that veteran  journalist of Russian roots but resident in kiev, capital of Ukraine, who deceitfully feigned being assassinated in Ukraine on 29 May 2018 in order to provoke corresponding global outrage against Russia and jeopardise the Russian HOSTSHIP of the 2018 World Cup just like our own Oweilaemi whose target is to provoke public outrage against Okowa-Otuaro over imaginary non-performance claims and undeservedly deny them of re-election in 2019, and equally provoke public outrage against JTF Commander Rear Admiral Apochi Suleiman and deprive him of his JTF commandership.

an uncrowned IYC President II of genius called Barrister Oweilaemi, uncannily captivated by his  systematic dance of reduction targeted at the JTF Commander and Okowa-Otuaro!

Writes from Akparemogbene, Delta State.