Dear Bunmi, I’m currently involved with two men and can’t choose which one I really want to be with.

One man is exciting and I have very strong feelings for him. The problem is that he’s extremely good-looking and I’m not sure I can trust him. We also argue a lot.

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The other man is sweet and cannot do enough for me. I trust him completely, but as much as I’m fond of him, I don’t love him as much as the other.

I’m at the early dating stages with both men. There are pluses and minuses to both of them.

Dear Bunmi, my problem really is that I long for a long-term relationship, but don’t know which of the men would give me a better life.

Bosun, by e-mail.

Dear Bosun,

What exactly do you think you want from life?

If you’re a passionate person and strong enough to cope with uncertainty, then Mr. Excitement might suit you perfectly.

You didn’t say why you don’t trust him. Is it because he is good-looking and is constantly hit on by the girls? That alone isn’t a reason not to trust him.

Is he as intensely into you as you are into him? The more intensely we feel for someone, the more we have to lose, and this could explain the arguments you’re always having.

Do you thrive on challenges or prefer to feel safe? If a safe loving relationship without drama is what would suit you, then go for the nice guy.

It is possible to get the excitement you crave from other areas of your life. The other option is to ditch them both and try to find someone who has a balance of both! 

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