Dear Bunmi,

I met my boyfriend six years ago when we were under-graduates but I’ve worked with my dad for some four years now.

I also live in one of his flats. My boyfriend got a job three years ago and is currently living with me. I pay virtually all the bills because he says he can’t afford to pay much. He said he would be finished financially, if he had to live alone.

Yet, he thinks nothing of going out with his friends and buying trendy cloths and shoes for himself. Once in a while, he gives me some peanuts as his contributions and has opted to pay the electricity bills only. As things are, I pay for things in the flat and maintain my car – used by both of us. I know he earns considerably less than I do, but I feel I’m being used as a money bag.

Should I kick him oiut?

Jonpo, by e-mail.

Dear Jonpo,

Your boyfriend’s behaviour is appalling, to say the least. It’s way away from what I could ever recommend. He manages to buy what he wants, while ignoring his financial responsibilities to you. What a leech!

What really bothers me is not his sorry behaviour but that you’ve put up with it for at least two years. Don’t you believe you deserved much better? If the answer is yes – and it had better be – then you need to realise that there’s nothing more empowering than a sense of self worth. So, pack his bags and send him to another sucker he can live off.

If he comes crawling back to you, he must be prepared to accept your terms for how things will work in the future. Let him realise that you should each contribute equal percentages proportionate to what you both earn. If you bring in say 60 per cent of the income, and he brings in 40 per cent, you must contribute in that proportion.

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