By Bunmi Sofola
Cougar’ is a sophisticated word introduced to the dating scene a few years back. A cougar, aka Puma, aka American mountain lion, is a fierce-looking animal who stalks its prey relentlessly. When it eventually over-powers the prey, the cougar tears it to pieces, devours it ferociously, and licks its lips with satisfaction at the end of the ‘feast’. The cougar has now replaced those we once knew as ‘senior girls’ in society. Women with a lot of money and power but with little patience start running after men in their age bracket only to find such men to be bitter disappointments in the bedroom. The cougar knows the type of men she wants – not so old. Young enough to stand to attention at the push of a button!
To the Cougar’s prey, the sky is the limit to the doors that might be opened to him – cars from his cougar’s garage at his disposal, lots of money to burn, and lots of business opportunities thrown his way. All he has to do is to ask ‘how far?’ when his cougar says ‘jump’! As long as a boy-toy knows his place and doesn’t get complacent enough to start eyeing some of his cougar’s friends with the hope of rendering the same services with maybe better returns, he’s on solid grounds.
Nkiru, now close to 50 married very young. According to her, “I was a quiet 19-year-old virgin when my parents gave me out in marriage to a rich village chief almost 20 years my senior. He was kind and dependable but I was shy and inexperienced, unable to relax and enjoy sex. I just assumed great sex was a media myth, that orgasms were as unobtainable as the moon. The arrival of the children turned me off sex even more and my husband didn’t protest. He obviously had a below-average libido or was looking elsewhere for gratification.
“By the time he died 16 years into our marriage, I’d known enough about his business to run things for myself. He died of cancer and had warned his greedy relatives to leave me alone after he’d gone. Not only that, he’d transferred all his liquid cash into my account and given me the little deeds to all the property he had. As soon as he died and my traditional mourning period was over, I sold off everything, so my husband’s family wouldn’t lay their hands on it, and came to Lagos to find a business of my own.
“My first taste of meaningful sex came when one of my suppliers started teasing me with saucy innuendos. I was thrilled. He was married, tall, dark, and handsome with mischievous eyes. That suited me to the ground. I had my four children and money; I wasn’t on the lookout for another husband. The day we finally got together was like magic. As the magazines advised, I’d worn sexy underwear and spiced up my bedroom. We were nicely tipsy when we tumbled into bed. It was the first time I reached an orgasm. At last, I understood that sex could be mind-blowing. And I wanted more.
“I made sure he didn’t regret our liaison. I bought a lot of my raw materials from him, gave him money towards the price of a second-hand car, and bought him designer clothes whenever we travelled. It went on for a few years until his wife found out and had the nerve to charge into my office calling me all sorts of derogatory names. I was furious and threw her out of my office. I might be bunking her husband, but I was sure a lot of the freebies I threw his way went a long way into giving his wife and children a cushy life.
Telling him I didn’t want any scandal, I cut him off and bought myself a few vibrators which kept me man-free for a while. Two years later, I met Joshua who was single and ready to mingle as they say! His youth made him eager to please and he was really energetic. ‘I love older women, he said cheekily and he was better than any of the vibrators I’d used. In the bedroom, he actually, made me ecstatic. He was matured enough not to talk about my private life and I gave him all the freedom he wanted. All I wanted was amazing sex passion without responsibilities. And we were both free to sleep with other people, so I kept my options open.
“Once in a while, I caught glimpse of jealousy in his eyes and I quickly called him to order. When he eventually told me he was getting married, I gave him my blessings but told him we were over. After that experience with an irate wife, I didn’t relish the idea of a ‘wife’ young enough to be my daughter shouting insults at me because I slept with her husband.
“I’ve since met another man also young and virile. Like me, he enjoys slow, sensuous sex. And I’m having the time of my life. It’s difficult to believe that when I was younger, I thought orgasms were mythical, yet now, at my age, I’m having incredible sex, and growing older has never been such fun! I’m looking forward to hitting the ‘great five-o’! Who knows what spritely hip-wriggling stud I would spend that day with! Thank goodness all my children are abroad. My eldest son came to stay for a while and saw my new catch. He grimaced when I confessed we were lovers. ‘Just be a careful mum’, he warned, ‘we don’t want any scandal!’
“I told him to grow up. Even in Britain where he stays, cougars abound and it wouldn’t hurt him to experiment with one or two before he settles down! I then discovered that a lot of my friends are into this cougar thing and some have even slept with each other’s lovers without any ill feelings. I didn’t intend to take things that far and I insist on safe sex. I want excitement. I don’t intend to be reckless in my quest for meaningful sex! I want to be around long enough to see how far this adventure would take me!”