March 17, 2021

My aunt’s husband is sleeping with me

My husband won’t leave our neighbour alone

 Dear Bunmi,

I am 16 years old and currently sleeping with my auntie’s husband. They have three children but are always arguing. We’ve been kissing and romancing before we started sleeping together. When my aunt and her husband are together, we act as if nothing is going on, so no one suspects anything yet.

Unfortunately, I’m now falling in love with him. I know he will never leave my aunt because she is like the bread-winner of the family and owns the house we live in. I love my aunt and I’m grateful to her for letting me live with them. Should I tell my aunt the type of man he’s married to?

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Brenda, by e-mail.

Dear Brenda,

Your mother should have taught you never to sleep with other women’s husbands, even when you’re not related. Society has this rule because it helps to protect marriages and vulnerable, gullible young girls like you.

After months of secret smooching, you finally succumbed to your increasing desire to have sex with your aunt’s husband, exactly as he’d hoped and planned. You’ve convinced yourself this is somehow okay because, in the same way as most couples, your aunt and husband sometimes fight.

You excuse your aunt’s husband’s bad behaviour by telling yourself that he needs to find comfort elsewhere. Now that you’ve had sex with him, feelings of love are well inside you because when a woman has sex with a man she is fond of, a sense of love almost inevitably follows.

Falling for a man who is married or, otherwise, unavailable is a trap a woman needs to avoid at all costs. Tell the man that ‘enough is enough’ and he can’t have more. Resist the temptation to hurt him and his wife by telling your aunt about the affair, because you can’t and never will share what they share.

This problem has been given a lot of space because I get loads of this type of letter from naive and easily used young girls. A man already happily married with a family will never leave his cushy surrounding to move in with a juvenile. 

Vanguard News Nigeria