July 31, 2019

He wants to eat his cake and have it!

Pregnant for my violent lover

By Dear Bunmi,

Dear Bunmi,


I’m a lawyer and practised for years up north where I met my current husband. He came on transfer from his company to set up a branch office and we got married legally after courting for a year.

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He later came back to Lagos and urged me to join him. I wound up my practice and put up my house for rent. No sooner did I arrive at his house than I discovered he was already in a relationship with a divorced mother of two!

She was really shocked and bitter when she saw me, what’s more, the two of us were obviously pregnant at the same time! My husband told her in my presence that he loved us both but she wasn’t having any of it. Unfortunately, she lost her baby through a miscarriage because of all the stress and I had a little girl.

I’m fed up with the whole situation as my husband confessed he couldn’t do without this other woman as she’d helped and cared for him. I gave up a fairly lucrative practice to be with him for what? He says he still loves me and this other woman.

Miriam, by e-mail.


Dear Miriam,

Your husband is obviously conceited, self-deluding and confused. He had no right to lure you into this tragedy. To satisfy his need for companionship, sex and status, he has deceived and badly hurt two women he claims he loves.

This is the behaviour of a selfish man, a liar and a fraud and you have no business hanging around while he humiliates you with another woman.

Cut loose from this self-serving, greedy and manipulative man and make fresh start with your daughter.

You are a successful professional and if you could return to the north where you were once well established and contented, why don’t you?