By Bunmi Sofola

  1. a) Always look on  the  dark side of life. See the glass as half empty rather than full,    regard changing   circumstances   as    disasters    rather   than opportunities, always expect things to go wrong, and your negativity will remain intact.

b)Repress your anger. Become accustomed to feeling as if you’re about to explode with rage, get used to a racing heart and a throbbing head, ignore the increases risk of heart disease, depression and—as people start to avoid you—unstable relationships.

c)Be unreliable. Ensure that people never expects anything of you by forgetting birthdays, turning up late and never completing tasks.

d)Catch the news again and again.  Maintain high levels of misery and “what’s the world coming to?” syndrome by becoming a news addict, reading the papers first thing and topping up with bulletins throughout the day.

e)Become a couch potato. Reject the overwhelming evidence that regular

exercise is good for your body and emotional well-being, use the car, avoid the gym and slouch on the sofa instead. Add a few high-fat snacks while relaxing and you’ll soon feel too tired and heavy even to think about a healthier routine.

f)Stay home alone. Give up your social life and you’ll never have to meet those annoyingly happy types who remind you that you’re missing out.

g)Neglect your appearance.   Keep your low self-esteem intact by not bothering to wash, apply make-up, or do your hair.

h)Hit the bottle.   Drink too much alcohol, refusing to accept that it’s disrupting your sleep patterns, affecting your work performance, depriving you of nutrients, reducing your bank balance and causing arguments with loved ones.

i)Play the victim. Convince yourself that your problems are caused by other people, and that you have no hope of changing your life.

j)Be a stick-in-the-mud. Remain safe and unchallenged by adhering to the same routine and carefully avoiding anything new and different.

k)Ignore aches and pains, soldier on regardless of an aching back or stomach pains in the hope that they’ll go away, ignoring the fact that you may be making any problem worse by not seeing a doctor.

I)Shop till you drop.  Speeding more than you earn keeps your credit-card company   and   your   bank   manager   happy.     While   guaranteeing   those familiar monthly headaches as you attempt to juggle finances.

m)See people as potential enemies. Be suspicious of everyone, sticking to your belief that people are always out to get you. This way you don’t have to worry about making any new friends, dating or finding a new job.

n)Reveal nothing. Assure high levels of feeling put upon and misunderstand, by not saying what you really mean or feel—also a great way to drive people away and ensure your continued isolation.

o)Focus on what you don’t have. Convince yourself that everyone else has more by focusing on their wonderful house.



Comments expressed here do not reflect the opinions of vanguard newspapers or any employee thereof.