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Popping the bubbles (2) – Yetunde Arebi


Two weeks ago, When I published the first part of this article which featured accounts by women on their first full sexual experience, I promised to give you the male version of it. The first cut as they say is the deepest. Whether it was good, not so good or downright horrible, it is one experience you are not likely to ever forget. And no matter how long you live, the number of lovers you may have or number of times you have sex after, that one first experience will always have a special place in your heart, good or bad.


I’ve received a number of responses from readers, including colleagues and even my Chairman, the great Uncle Sam, since the first part was published and I have promised to publish more on the topic soon. Just keep reading the Saturday Vanguard. For today, let’s hear it from the men:

Gboyega, a dear colleague was 21 when he finally nailed it. He said he was however surprised by the girl’s seeming expertise.

I was about 21 years when I actually had my first real experience. It was a girl in the neighbourhood, My friends were aware of my feelings towards the girl, so one day, while we were playing outside our house, one of my friends saw the girl pass by and called her. He told her I wanted to see her privately. She must have felt something for me too because she honoured my appointment that evening and we became friends.

A few days later, I went to visit her at home. There was no one in. She left me in the sitting room and went inside. When I didn’t see her return, I went after her. She was sitting on her bed and she smiled at me. She didn’t say a word but I got the message and I was really afraid. I couldn’t tell her I hadn’t done it before. I must have fumbled a lot as I had little idea of what to do. I had watched several blue movies and learnt a few tricks. I just hadn’t got the opportunity to put it into practice.

Watching is not the same as doing, you know. After the show, I had to confess to her that it was my first time. I felt like a jerk! She just laughed at me and said she knew. One thing that surprised me about the whole thing was that she was only 17 years old and I had no idea she was that experienced in the thing. I just couldn’t believe it. In a way, I felt disgusted and that probably contributed to my decision to end the relationship.

For Yemi, an up, mobile, yuppie banker born with a silver spoon, said:

The first time I had sex, I was in Primary four, quite young. It was with my cousin. She was a very crazy girl and we were always doing crazy stuff together at the time. So, I can say it was with her that I first learnt the pleasures of being with a female. She used to come on holidays in Nigeria from London and we would sometimes visit them too.

She was really wild when we were kids. If you know how kids play the mummy and daddy stuff, you will have an idea of what I am talking about. It was more of having erections and enjoying it, rather than having meaningful sexual intercourse. We were both 11, but she came loaded.

Later when I got to Secondary School, my daddy’s secretary took an interest in me. She was an adult, I guess in her late 20s or early 30s. I don’t know what she saw in me, but she liked me. She took me beyond the pleasures of just having erections or ordinary sex, to the other side because it was with her that I had my first real orgasm. Compared with her, what I had with my cousin was stupid child’s play. With her it was like diluting education and pleasure together. Till today, I still wonder how no one knew that we were doing such a thing together.

Now when I see young boys chasing and dancing around older women, I just laugh. The lady really spoilt me. As I grew up, I became more interested in women. I just wanted to know  what made them different from guys. Whenever I saw a lady, I was always fascinated by that thing growing on her chest, why she swayed her hips and bum in a particular manner, and why her things were different from the other girl’s things. I was like a scientist conducting some kind of research on the female specie and boy, I enjoyed it. As time went on, it became  a matter of discovering what this girl had to offer that I had not seen or experienced before.

Yemi says all that was in the past as he now knows better and is no longer so besotted with women.

Nnamdi is another nut cracker who says though he contracted an STD on his first experience, he is still not deterred:

My first experience as a young man was with a prostitute.  Though at the time, I didn’t know that she was one. As a young chap, I was a trouble shooting, talkative and daring guy in thick lensed glasses. I had a lot of wild friends too and was very smooth with the ladies. For these, most people thought I was already having a swell time with the girls. No one knew that all my hyperactivities ended just there on the surface, as I had never had a sexual relationship with any girl while in Secondary School. After Secondary School, we still trooped around in a group as we were awaiting our results. I was about 19, 20 then.

One of the guys had an apartment detached from his family house where we all used as a base of sort. His parents were Bankers and were usually out until very late in the night, so his place was somewhere we could confidently go and do all sorts of things, without being discovered by anyone. To make things even better, his parents got him a job, so he had money and the place just sort of bubbled all the time, if you know what I mean. Everyone could bring their girlfriends there and spend time. But I never did and no one ever asked me why, if they thought it was strange.

Then one night, we went out clubbing and we returned very late in the night. We were three, me, my friend who owned the apartment and a girl I’d assumed was his girlfriend. There was only one bed in the room and so the three of us crashed on it. But while I tried to sleep, my friend and the girl went straight to business and had sex. I turned my back to them and tried to sleep. As soon as they finished, my friend just rolled over and went to sleep.

A few minutes after, I was surprised to see the girl, rolling my friend to the other edge of the bed and making a more at me. I told her to stop it as I was not in the mood and secondly because she was supposed to be my friend’s girl. But she just hissed and asked if I was serious with what I said.

At that point, I had no choice but to wake my friend and inform him of what his girlfriend was proposing to me.  But to my surprise again, he too told me to go ahead, did I not see that he had just finished his own, he asked.  Well that was how the girl, led me on and I found myself having sex, for the very first time.

I was really scared and she sensed it because she kept asking if it was my first time. I did not want to confess for the fear of my friend hearing it, so I just kept quiet and tried to do the best I could.  I enjoyed it because the girl was quite experienced and knew what to do. It was exciting, especially when I ejaculated.

After, I laid there for a long time, I could not sleep, thinking that I had done a terrible thing to either my friend or the girl. Surprisingly, the next day, my friend just waved the whole thing aside, he refused to talk about it and the girl too just dressed up and went away.  For a few days, I was really filled with guilt. However, something more serious was also happening to me. I discovered I could not pee. It was very painful and I automatically found myself screaming. It was a relief when I could finally do it. I knew I was in serious trouble but did not know what to do.

In fact, at that time, I did not know that it was Gonorrhoea, but I knew something was wrong with me which must be connected with what I had done recently because that was the only thing I was doing  for the first time. I also did not want to tell my friend, because I did not want to incur more embarrassment from what had already happened. So, I went to the only back up for support and advice I had, my older brother.

He was six years older than me and still remains my back up till now. I ran to him whenever there was a problem I couldn’t fix by myself. Even though he would still call me stupid boy and all that, but he had always been there for me. He asked if I’d had sex and with whom. I confessed to him who it was and how we’d done it. He asked if my friend was also going through the same thing and I said I didn’t know because I didn’t ask and would not like to ask him.

My brother then told me that what I’d contracted was Gonorrhoea and that my friend and the girl would have to be treated too. He then proceeded to give me a full lecture on sex. If you must, protect yourself by using a condom. So, the good thing I learnt from the experience was the use of condoms and I have stuck to it ever since. With the help of my brother, I was treated. I don’t know if my friend contracted it also, because he did not tell and I did not ask either.

Pheww!! Do have a wonderful weekend!!



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