By Bunmi Sofola
THE year, 2016, definitely had its share of tragic incidents and deaths associated with a leap yar. It’s with a huge relief to see its back and occasionally reflect on its casualties.
Six years ago, Albert watched his wife of 15 years quietly slip away after a protracted battle with ovarian cancer. “The day Wemi, my wife, died was the most traumatic day of my life”, recalled Albert. “We’d been married 14 years when she started feeling unwell. After a couple of visits to the doctors and the pain she felt didn’t subside, it was suggested
that she went through some tests, and we were shattered when the tests revealed she had ovarian cancer – and it was terminal as the illness had eaten into other organs.
“She went through some course of chemotherapy but even with that, her health deteriorated rapidly in the first few months. Then she started losing weight and was a shadow of her bubbly self. The pain she had to endure was so much that it was almost a relief when she passed on. That was when it dawned on me that I would never see her again. A chapter in my life had ended and I had four lovely children to look after.
“ After my wife’s funeral, a girlfriend I recently met when Wemi was very ill and I was feeling sorry for myself and in dire need of consolation, told me she was four months pregnant. That she didn’t want to tell me earlier because of the trauma I was going through. She told me she’d intended to have the baby as she’d longed for one for years.
Moreover, she wasn’t getting any younger. I was very confused by the news. I still missed my wife terribly but the stress of looking after four lively and bewildered kids was taking its toll on me. My wife’s relatives who offered to help were like parasites – snooping among her things and actually carting away some of her personal effects. It was really disgusting. Even my own relatives, who offered to keep house for us were fleecing me.
“In the meantime, Franka, my girlfriend, had met my children and they actually got on well with her. So, when she was about eight months gone, I simply asked her to move in – it was five months after my wife died! Naturally, a lot of my friends and relatives were shocked and scandalized by my decision. They accused me of being heartless and ruthless. Eventually, they met Franka, saw how she dotted not only on her child but all the children and they agreed she was a Godsent. We didn’t get married until her child was a year old and she’s since had another one. We have both agreed that six children are more than enough in the family.
“I will never forget Wemi, the wife who gave me 15 years of happiness. She was the love of my life but I care for Franka too in a different way. You can’t live in the ashes of dead happiness and I believe it is a tribute to my dead wife that I remarried quickly after her death. If I’d had a bad marriage with her, I wouldn’t have been eager to give it a go the second time … “
Sessi was already certain she was pregnant when she submitted her urine for a pregnancy test. When the result was positive, she realized she was faced with the hardest decision of her life. “What would my in-law say about this?”, she asked. “They would hate me, never want to see me again. Panic rose in my stomach as I sat, shaking at what I was confronted with. The father of my baby was already on to my mobile. I confirmed the news and he yelled with joy. Unfortunately, my husband of five years was in his grave in his home town – a victim of a fatal car accident! He died barely a year ago.
“Unfortunately too, is the fact that there was no child of the marriage as I’d had a couple of miscarriages. I’d been treated for a blood related ailment which was responsible for the miscarriages I had. Sadly, my husband was no longer alive to benefit from the expensive treatments we both paid through the nose for. His family knew about my problem and the efforts we made. Now I’m pregnant – but for another man. Would I have another miscarriage? Should I have an abortion? I quickly ruled out the last option. I’d gone through a lot of anger and frustration trying to have a baby to now throwaway my chances because of a husband who would never come back.
“I’d met my new partner at a friend’s house and never even thought he was single. But he was, and after being messed around by girls who often took him to the cleaners, he was more than ready to settle down. Now that both our prayers have been answered, my in-laws could be the spanner in the works.
“My parents too were mildly shocked to say the least and decided I shouldn’t say a word about the pregnancy until after the first anniversary of my husband’s death which was a month away. But you’ll be amazed at how news like that leaks out. The cold stares that greeted me at the church memorial service were so intense I wish I could just disappear. His parents tried to be civil about it all and stayed a few hours at the reception, before hurriedly departing the venue.
“It was inevitable that I went abroad to have my baby – and I’m proud of the healthy son that God finally blessed me with. I wish that things would have worked out differently with regards to the time lapse, but what could I do when God said it was time for me, to be fulfilled? My late husband will always have a special place in my heart and I’m sure he too would have been happy for me wherever he is … “
Honey It’s Cold In Here! (Humour)
It’s the honeymoon night and the new bride is breathless with anticipation, she gets into bed and waits for her husband to come out of the bathroom, but what a shock when he does! He gets into bed wearing a woolly vest and thick underpants, turns over and goes straight to sleep. The bride is devastated but doesn’t say anything, hoping it will be better the following night. However, it’s worse. The bride gets into bed wearing a very short and sexy negligee but this time her husband crawls under the duvet fully clothed and goes straight to sleep. The bride is overcome with sadness.
On the third night, she’s lying there totally naked but this time her husband gets into bed, not only fully clothed but wearing a woolly hat, thick gloves, an overcoat and furry boots. Her sadness turns to anger. “Gerald”, she exclaims, “what’s going on. Don’t you know there’s a hole between my legs?” “So that’s where the bloody draft is coming from” , he replied.