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My tears during sex has put him off

Dear Bunmi,

I recently lost a very dear friend and it made me really emotional. During this time, my boyfriend and I had sex, but during the whole thing, my emotional trauma overwhelmed me and I burst into tears.

My boyfriend looked a bit astonished but consoled me the best he could. Since that incident, he doesn’t seem to be interested in sex. When I tried to get him into bed, he tells me he’s not in the mood. Is there a way to bring back the loving feelings we once shared?

Appoionia, by e-mail.

Dear Appolonia,

It’s one thing to cry out your man’s name in bed, but simply crying your eyes out during sex can be a bit scary for some men. A lot of men are cool about consoling you when you’ve had a bad day but are not sure of how to handle it when you cry like a baby during sex.

Men are not that reliable at handling real emotional issues. Since your outburst, it seems your man is afraid that if you two get more intimate, the waterworks would be really turned on. Little wonder he’s off sex! It is understandable you’re feeling the way you do, since sex is a very emotional experience.

Explain to your man all-over again why you got that emotional and assure him it had little to do with the way he turned you on! Then find time to show him you’re capable of having carefree sex by engaging him in some no-holds-barred animal sex! Talk dirty if he likes you to, and instead of crying, give him gentle love bits you know would drive him crazy.

Once he realizes that you can be as hot as before – or even hotter, his libido is bound to bounce back in no time.


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