By Udeme Archibong

THE LAW OF RESPONSIBILITY:

“You are completely responsible for everything you are and for everything you become and achieve”
Life is an awesome privilege that presents to us the greatest gift that shapes the outcome of our destinies. This greatest gift that life presents to us is the mold that super-imposes our life’s experiences and structures our existence. From the beginning of time humans have either employed or deployed this gift consciously or unconsciously in order to determine the quality of life.

Employing this treasured gift entails handing over the wheel of our lives to the cruel hands of people, habits, circumstances and conditioning. But deploying this gift makes us in charge of our lives and brings us into full alignment with principles governing success. This treasured gift is the power to choose and this gift hinges on the principle of responsibility.

As Dwight D. Eisenhower rightly states, “The history of freeman is never written by chance but by choice-their choice”16. As human existence progressed from the Hunter and Gatherer Age to the Agricultural Age transforming into the Industrial Age emerging into the Information/Knowledge Worker Age and unveiling into the Creative age; rather unfortunately through these ages till now humans for the most part of it have employed rather than deployed this gift and treaded upon the pathway of irresponsibility.

Irresponsibility is the bane of human existence that strangles the quality of our lives and exposes us to the whim and caprice of fate. People who behave irresponsibly believe that forces outside of themselves shape who they are, what they are and where they are. They hand over the wheel of their lives to “luck” and circumstances.

They are professionals in playing the blame game, complaining, criticizing and making excuses because they have shunned taking responsibility of what they had done or neglected to do. Lending them a helping hand only heightens the level of irresponsibility because they would not let go of that hand no matter how long since they are too dependent mentally, emotionally and even financially.
Blame never affirms; it assaults.
Blame never restores; it wounds.
Blames never solves; it complicates.
Blame never unites; it separates.
Blame never smiles; it frowns.
Blame never forgives; it rejects.
Blame never builds; it destroys.

JOHN HAGEE
Irresponsibility showcases itself in myriads of ways. Irresponsible people have strangled their conscience and live lives dictated by their impulse and self-driven luster. They believe they can behave as they like, utter anything that comes to their head. They do not respect the feelings, thoughts and the standpoint of others. Hence, so long as it pleases them, they can hurt others through their words and actions without caring.

Immorality, unreliability and untrustworthy character are the trademark of irresponsibility. They submit their lives to unbridled passion and emotion rooted in lust. They live in the pleasure of the moment and engulfed in short-sightedness they put their future at stake.

Irresponsible people are pessimistic and negative as they feel helpless about their lives. Their potentials become dormant and atrophy through disuse. Hence in the midst of abundance, they languish in poverty, in the midst of hope, they embrace despair and in the midst of opportunities, they grumble about the hands of fate.

Irresponsible people are flighty; they feel unable to confront challenges. And without challenges there can be no progress. What make success thick are the challenges we face and subdue. Irresponsible people are highly changeable; they are crowd-driven rather than value-driven. They are unstable, tossed to and fro by the vagaries of their choices.

In the sum total, irresponsibility is a low-common priced life that abandons taking responsibility for behaviours, decisions or situations that surround one.

At the root of most of our societal and individual problems lies the syndrome of irresponsibility.

Divorce rates are soaring by the day, corruption and greed which is synonymous with the poverty-rise becomes a “normal” expectation. Hospitals are filled with patients who are victims of habits that stems from irresponsibility, the joy of living becomes eluded and success fades into the darkness of irresponsibility.

Jack Canfield observed, “For every reason why it’s not possible, there are hundreds of people who have faced the same circumstances and succeeded. Lots of people overcome these so-called limiting factors, so it can’t be the limiting factors that limit you. It is not the external conditions and circumstances that stop you-it is you! We stop ourselves! We think limiting thoughts and engage in self-defeating behaviours.

We defend our self-destructive habits (such as drinking and smoking) with indefensible logic. We ignore useful feedback, fail to continuously educate ourselves and learn new skills, waste time on the trivial aspects of our lives, engage in idle gossip, eat unhealthy food, fail to exercise, spend more money than we make, fail to invest in our future, avoid necessary conflict, fail to tell the truth, don’t ask for what we want-and then wonder why our lives don’t work”.18

Until we become accountable, our lives will not count. Until we brace up and take personal responsibility for our lives, decisions and actions, we will become handicapped in the dungeon of failure.

Irresponsibility is a mental deadly “disease” that kills gradually but surely and becoming responsible is its cure.

THE WHOLE WORLD STINGS! WHO IS RESPONSIBLE?
“If something doesn’t turn out as planned, you will ask yourself, “How did I create that? What was I thinking? What were my beliefs? What did I say or not say? What did I do or not do to create that result? How did I get the other person to act that way? What do I need to do differently next time to get the result I want?”

JACK CANFIELD.
Once upon a time, there lived a grandpa who visited his grandchildren. It was habitual for grandpa to take a nap each afternoon. One day, the kids decided to be funny; they put Limburger cheese in his moustache. After a short time he awoke from his sleep and exclaimed, “Why, this room stinks.” He got up and went to the kitchen and discovered that the kitchen smelled too. Desperately in search for fresh air grandpa decided to go outdoors but he soon discovered that outdoors was no better.

Surprised and disgusted, he proclaimed, “The whole world stings”.

Grandpa desired a change from the circumstance he was facing and as long as he thought that the source of his problem was external he still remained in his condition blaming the world for his frustrating experience. Here’s the rub, it is not the condition of our lives that needs to be changed but rather we are the ones that needs to be changed.

If we can change ourselves; we will automatically change the condition of our lives but if we desire outward changes without first seeking an inward change we will remain in the mess we are in. And you cannot effect an inward change until you take absolute responsibility for your life. Playing the blame game and complaining only secures your position in the stagnant domain of life.

One of the life-changing truths in the course of destiny is to know and understand that the major help that you need to succeed and be all that you were created to be emanates from within you. The world does not owe us anything but rather we owe the world everything for the space we occupy in it. The reality is; the life you are presently living is the life you have created.

Your life is a product of your thoughts, feelings and behavior or actions based on the choices you make. The world within us must change for the world around us to change. We have the responsibility to make things happen. Many people are not in control of their lives anymore; they are being driven by their feelings rather than values; they are determined by their condition and conditioning rather than by conscious choice.

You are responsible for your choices, decision and actions. Many people are not living a consciously designed life but rather they are living out the script handed over to them by their parents, associates, and other peoples’ agenda. In life, you either live out your consciously designed script or live out a default script; you either act on life or life acts on you; you either stem the tide or go with the flow. We are not determined by conditioning or condition or our environment rather we are determined by our choices.

You are responsible for the fulfillment of your desires. If you want things to change and your circumstance to improve; then you must be in –charge and change and improve yourself. If it’s to be; it’s up to you. No one is coming to solve your problems. In fact no one is interested in your success as much as you do. Rather than feel helpless; take charge through your mind and be solution driven rather than problem conscious.

You are responsible for your beliefs and values. Beliefs create reality and values govern human behaviour. We must deliberately select our beliefs and values and choose empowering ones that will shape our destinies positively.

Prioritizing our time is a responsibility that is exclusively ours. Time is irreplaceable as life itself. To take responsibility for our time is to differentiate between what is urgent and what is important and not spend time on the trivial aspect of life but rather to invest our time on things that will lead to growth and have long term value.

Association could be an accelerator of destiny but it could also be an inhibitor of destiny. Everybody cannot be your friend because many people are going in a different direction from yours. The responsibility lies on you to choose your companions wisely and not having them choose you.

You are responsible for how you deal with people. You are responsible for your behaviour. Taking absolute responsibility for your attitude towards others irrespective of their attitude towards you is a choice.

You must be responsible for what you do about your feelings. Immature people act according to the dictates of their impulse. They do not subject their feelings or emotions to sound judgment. Maturity takes responsibility and filters the feelings and emotions through reason, judgment and conscience. Most people go through life with the baggage of resentment, anger, guilt, envy, jealousy; they relive past hurts and pains; justifying and rationalizing the reasons for their unhappiness and failure; complaining about the past and present and hence perpetuate failure into their future.

The trend can be reversed by eliminating the justification; rationalization; blaming and complaining mode which could be achieved by putting an end to thinking about, talking about and rehearsing negative event and emotions attached to it. The law of emotion states, “A stronger emotion will dominate and override a weaker emotion, and whichever emotion you concentrate on grows and becomes stronger”.

You are responsible for your happiness because happiness is a choice we make; nobody can make you miserable without your consent. Responsible people do not blame, complain, justify and pity themselves for their state of life. But rather, they take responsibility for their emotions, happiness, life and well being.
Therefore, whether the world stings or not is dependent on our choice to assume 100 percent responsibility for our lives in order to change the course of our destiny.

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