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I’m Not Sure I Love Him

Dear Bunmi,

My 25th birthday is round the corner and I’m thinking of having a fairly big one.

My current boyfriend is getting worked up about it and hinted he had something really  special planned for the day.

That gets me panicking  ecause I’ve been unhappy with the relationship and

plan to dump him. As things are now, I can’t do that if  e’s making a big romantic

gesture for my birthday, can I?

Uche, by e-mail.


Don’t assume that just because you feel less for your man, the relationship isdoomed, particularly if you’ve just met. Things can change and love can grow. If you’re not sure, commit to say a month, and then take a break.

Most relationships have times when each partner’s emotions shift. A few days, weeks or even months of unbalanced feelings doesn’t necessarily mean the end – especially if you’ve been together a while.

After your big event and you’re still not certain you can’t be committed to him, then the fairest thing – even if it’s painful for both of you – is to end the relationship.

If you’re the partner who feels more, it will be hard but it’s still worth calling a halt – because you deserve someone who cares for you. Given the chance of a new relationship, you will find that person.


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