Dear Bunmi,

My 23 years old niece is sleeping with her boyfriend’s father while the boyfriend is away studying for his masters at the university in another state. She grew up in a one- parent family and I think this is responsible for her behaviour. When her boyfriend was studying in a near-by state, his father used to drive my niece to see him and I knew he was bent on seducing her.

Love-gone-sour

Now her mum has found texts in her phone of all the type of things they were up to.

He even promised they might get married. His wife is down with partial stroke and my niece gives the impression of being fond of this poor unsuspecting woman. I don’t understand how she can fancy a man of almost 50 when she could have her choice of boys her own age. If this gets out, it will destroy the man’s family. Help!

Stephanie

by e-mail.

Dear Stephanie,

There is tragedy in the making here and I’m sure your niece is conscious of this. She finds happiness with a man who, as you suggested, is in some ways the dad she didn’t grow up with. By sleeping with both father and son, she shows her insecurity. Instead of condemning her, encourage her to talk about her choices, let her see what could be the cruel outcome of her behaviour. She’s exploring what she needs from men. If you can, arrange for her to be with friends her own age, male and female, so she could boost her confidence.

The right guidance from you, without sounding judgmental, will make her see the errors of her way.