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Behind closed doors (4)

By Yetunde Arebi

HI, WE have all experienced it at some point. That rush of  adrenalin when we are engaged in something exciting or dangerous. Some people live by it and sometimes allow it to take over their sense of judgement, staking everything they stand for. How far will you go for a quick rump in the sack? How much will you stake for a few minutes of pleasure? Do you really know when to call it off when things begin to get out of hand? It is assumed that most people would cheat on their partners at some point or another, it is those who allow themselves to get caught that do not know how to play the game. Our opening story featured the secret affair of a young, married lady with the husband of her older friend and benefactor. The cat was let out of the bag when the older woman mistakenly took her husband’s mobile phone out for the day. So, while the treacherous young friend thought she was chatting with her friend’s husband, the messages where actually being received by her friend seated next to her.
Our second story featured Adeola, who dated her friend’s rich cousin and befriended his wife just to remove suspicion. Today, Philomena, (28), narrates how she began dating her direct boss at the office. Why did they end relationship? Find out below as she shares her story. Don’t forget that you can also be a part of this column by sending us your contribution if you or someone you know of, have been through a similar experience. Feel free also to send in any story of your choice so long as it is based on a true life experience. Happy reading!  

Philomena’s story:  
Their coming to my place was not a secret, as often, their mother would send them to me and that meant that she was aware of their movements.

On a couple of occasions, she’d had cause to send them over for the weekend at my place whenever she was traveling out of town and could not find anyone to stay with the children.

She loved partying and had many friends, so, she is never at home most weekends. I soon discovered that the two were one of a kind. If she had lovers too, it would not come as a surprise.

However, tongues soon began wagging at the office about the relationship and we were forced to start being a little discreet about our movements.

We stopped leaving the premises together as we used to. Sometimes, I would go with someone else or walk to the bus stop and wait for him to pick me there.  That way, it would not really look like we were leaving together but like he was giving me a ride.

It was then that I started thinking about the futility of what we were doing together. I began feeling terribly guilty and ashamed of myself for engaging in something as deceitful as that. I was not only betraying the trust of his wife, now my friend and their two boys who had also become so fond of me, but was also doing myself harm.

For, the more I followed him around, the more I blocked my chances of meeting someone I could have a meaningful relationship with. Since I did not want to marry him, there was absolutely no reason for me to continue the hide and seek game we were doing.

I knew in my mind that I would have nothing to gain from the relationship at the end of it all. And when it ended after a year, I felt more humiliated than ever.

He didn’t even give any reason for calling off the relationship and neither did he really apologise when he tried to make a come back again a few weeks later. I only noticed that he was deliberately avoiding me. Twice, he left the office before our normal closing hour and told me he was going somewhere. Just like that.

I took it very badly. So badly  that I even started thinking I might have to resign if things did not return to normal between us. But after discussing with my friends, I had a change of heart and renewed strength. I decided to relate with him strictly on official matters too.

I ignored him and started following another male colleague and then, suddenly he started cracking some silly jokes with me and demanding my attention. He probably thought I was there for him for the asking. Like a piece of clothing in his wardrobe. And to be discarded when it was dirty or not needed.

Ever since, we have been very formal with each other. His wife called me several times to ask what went wrong between me and her husband and even tried her best to settle it. Both of us refused to budge. And since she does not know the real cause of the problem, there was no way she could settle it.

Sometimes, the children would tell me on the telephone how much they miss me and want to come and visit me but that their daddy said I am not around most of the time. So, I will just promise them that I will come and play with them when ever it was convenient for me. Of course, that is not possible.

Eventually, he agreed with me that the relationship was dead and that for the sake of those who were not aware and must not even discover, such as his wife, we must remain friends. Now, I have a cordial relationship with the wife. She brings the kids over sometimes and I also attend their birthdays. Other than that, we are just friends and colleagues at the office.

Sam, (32), Personnel Manager, reveals his secret affair with a young lady who was way out of his league at the time. In what way, you may ask? Find out as he tells his story.

Its not something I am very proud of. I just found myself doing it and because of the benefits I was deriving from it, I couldn’t control or caution myself. I was unemployed at the time and had just returned from my posting for the Youth Service year. The girl involved was still single at the time though she had a steady relationship that we all knew would end in marriage. She was already working in the Federal Civil Service, a job she secured right after leaving Secondary School. She liked me a lot and never hid it as she would seek my attention at any opportunity.

At first, I used to tease our friends about my desire to date her, just to test the waters. But when their responses were always in the negative, I had to stop. Their excuse was that she was in a good and steady relationship and that she would never agree to my proposal. I did not have a job, money or even a room of my own. I was sharing a room with two other cousins, and no contribution to the rent. I depended on my cousins for everything I needed at the time.

She lived in their family house, three houses away from mine and had a room to herself. I could visit her anytime I wished to. Her boyfriend, a bit older than us used to come visiting late in the evening, so we had about three to four hours to ourselves as she usually returned from the office by 3.30pm.

Initially, she used to invite me to eat dinner with her. Soon, I started asking her for money, not large sums though, just enough to feed me for a day or two before I would be able to sort myself out again.
Dear readers; comments, opinions and views on this issue are very much welcome. Please send contributions to: The Human Angle, Vanguard Media Limited, P.M.B. 1007, Apapa, Lagos.
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