Dear Bunmi,

My best friend, who is also a childhood friend met her boyfriend eight months ago and since then, her personality has changed. She was once bubbly and outgoing, but now she’s nervy and quiet. Recently, I noticed bruises on her rists, and a few months ago, she

had a swollen lip. She said she had tripped on the carpet and banged into a door. I don’t have any proof but I suspect that her boyfriend is hitting her. I’ve tried talking

to her, but she won’t say anything. How do you think I should tackle this?

Doyin, by e-mail.

Dear Doyin,

Is your friend living with her boyfriend? If she is, your butting in might be very tricky. But you urgently need to let her know how concerned you are of her well-being.

Put her in touch with professionals who can counsel her and make sure you call on her as often as you can so her boyfriend could know you are on to him.

Let her know that domestic abuse is assault and he could be prosecuted if reported.

Lagos State couldn’t be more blunt of its intolerance of domestic abuse. Sadly, your friend might refuse your help, seeing it as interfering – but at least you would have planted

the idea in her mind.