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Latent interference – Francis Ewherido

It is ever present at weddings. If it does not come up during sermons in the church, it will come up during the reception. I am talking about advice to new couples not to allow family, friends or others get involved in their marriage. Often those advising do not distinguish between interference and intervention. It is a blanket non-involvement of outsiders in the new marriage.

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“De-P-Squared?” I hope not

For some time now, P-Square (the twin brothers, Peter and Paul Okoye) have been in the news for the wrong reasons. They, along with their elder brother, Jude, have been churning out more of squabbling than great music that brought them to limelight. Initially, it was rumoured to be a publicity stunt, but I guess the handshake has gone beyond the elbow with some recent events, especially the video of their fight that went viral.

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Let your differences work for you

You must have heard or seen divorced or separated couples cite “irreconcilable differences.” But most times, differences are only irreconcilable because of ego, poor management of the differences and rigidity (in marriage there is nothing like it must be my way always. Sometimes you must shift ground, especially if your spouse’s position or line of thought is better). Ideally, irreconcilable differences should not arise after marriage because all such core issues should have been dealt with during courtship.

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Money is sweet, but not oily

The heading is a literal translation of a popular saying in Urhoboland: igho vwerha; yo f’ivwrii. It means money is good, but not everything. For some time now, especially since Vanguard Newspaper and others started devoting specific pages to reporting of crime stories, many people have been asking if these crimes have always been there or there an upsurge.

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The downside of old age

My mother, Mrs. Paulina Powder Ewherido, was 84 years last Tuesday. In a country where the average life expectancy for women is 53 years, that is remarkable. And for people, who know the health history of this proverbial cat with nine lives, 84 years is monumental. I always forget her birthdays until it has past, but this year, I deliberately kept it in mind so that I will call and “look for her trouble.” On Sept. 5, I called, but I could barely tease her.

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Getting married? Welcome to hell

Recently, I felt my marriage course participants were getting too comfortable and lethargic as they were preparing for marriage. I decided to jolt them by showing them the other side of marriage, starting from the lesser drawbacks. I had barely gone 30 percent when I started noticing anxiety in their faces. One of them, who could not take it anymore, blurted out: “Excuse me, sir, you are scaring us.” My intention was not to scare them from marriage, so I stopped.

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The game changer

Next Tuesday is World Population Day, a day which seeks to raise awareness on global population issues. In Nigeria, our exploding population, which currently stands at 191.8 million, is a real issue. At the individual level, I have made it a sing song to my marriage course participants that after the first three children, they should think and think again before they add number four, because the fourth child is a game changer.

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