Dear Bunmi,

I recently broke with my boyfriend of three years. A nice and generous man, he was very insecure and kept on asking if he satisfied me on the few times we made love.

The truth is that he wasn’t that great in bed and I was left frustrated all of the time.

I recently met a man who is tall but not what you’ll call handsome. My best friend told me ugly men are better in bed as they try to make up for their being ugly by trying extra hard in the bedroom.

Is this true? How can you tell a man who could be good in bed?

Anjola,

By e-mail.

Dear Anjola,

There are a lot of old wife’s tales about sex and this is one of them, I’m afraid!

However, experts believe that a man who’s likely to be good in bed loves sensual things—music, food, drink, snuggling up, gazing into your eyes. When you kiss, he takes it slowly rather than simply diving in with his tongue. When you touch him, he relaxes and just loves whatever you’re doing to him. When he touches you, he’s aware of how you respond.

He does more of what you like and steers clear of what you obviously don’t like. He’s happy to talk about what turns you on, and want to swap notes on sexy tips and tricks.

When you decide to make love, he wants it to be a special occasion, not just a quick thing. Sex is important to him. Sex with you is very important. So, forget the ugly and look for these traits in a man you really fancy.