By Ebele Orakpo

That we are in the last days the Bible talked about is no longer in doubt. Everything is turning upside down,” said Timi in the Lagos Island-bound commuter bus. “Oh sure, we are in the last days indeed! It’s like the Devil has taken over the world,” agreed John.

“My own be say make they no carry dat madness come Nigeria oo as our President don go meet Obama who has been campaigning for legalisation of gay marriage,” said Ayo. “They have taken this rights thing to the extreme. I am not against the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender, LGBT, community doing whatever they do; after all, they have been there since the creation of the world, but what is wrong is forcing people to recognise and embrace them,” said Timi.

“We like to pretend a lot. Many people do the same things or even worse in their closets and come out to condemn those who are doing theirs openly,” said Julie. Continuing, she said: “Imagine Africans condemning the US, meanwhile, we have corruption, kidnappings, human trafficking, terrorism and all sorts of evil destroying us and we have not stood against such as we have done against same-sex marriage.”

“Please, I’d rather deal with thieves and corrupt politicians than with unnatural people. Just look at this: Gay marriage legalised by the US Supreme Court; adultery legalised by Constitutional Court in South Africa; Germany’s National Ethics Council calling for an end to criminalisation of incest between siblings; and then Japanese court rules that adultery is okay if it’s for business purpose. So your son can have babies with your daughter. It’s no longer a criminal offence. So tell me where humanity is headed if not destruction?” asked Paul.

Insane judgment

Narrated Ayo: “I heard a couple in the US was fined $135,000 by the state for refusing to make wedding cake for a lesbian couple. They were accused of discriminating against the couple. For God’s sake, she has a right to say no to a customer but according to Obama and his cohorts, the lady has no right to refuse them. I am happy sane people in the US have risen up against the insane judgement.”

Said John: “I think they were just looking for trouble. An Igbo adage says that when an old woman wants to pick a quarrel with another, she asks her for some palm oil to eat palm nut. Palm oil comes from palm nut so what is she actually looking for if not wahala?” “Na only the woman dey make cake? Why didn’t they go to other bakers?” asked Timi.

Replied Bob: “She is not the only baker but why discriminate against them because of their sexual orientation? That is the issue.” “The lady said she could not make the cake because it was against her faith. She said God gave her the gift and Gay marriage is against God’s law, so she will be going against God, like biting the finger that feeds her. She has a right to accept or refuse any job. I hope the rights activists realise that also,” said Ayo.

“What about the man who tied a crocodile at his back yard and was having sex with it until a neighbour called in the Police. He was arrested and he said he was on a revenge mission because the croc had wanted to kill him as he was fishing,” narrated John.

“They shouldn’t punish him because that is his ‘sexual orientation’. Armed robbers, terrorists, kidnappers, rapists, paedophiles, drunk drivers and the rest should not be punished because that is the way they were made. Shebi they want to stand logic on its head,we’ll help them talk about rights. Nonsense! Their perversion no get part two,” said John. “But wait oo, I get question: Now if two men get married, where will the children come from?” asked Paul.

“They are allowed to adopt and sometimes they go through surrogacy,” replied Bob.

Said Paul: “This is so unfair to the child. A child with two men or two women as parents? They think they are wiser than the creator who made them and put things in place. Anyway, we shall see. Even animals have not become so depraved. Like Robert Mugabe said, Devil did not descend so low as to ask for Adam. He went for Eve.”

“I read a facebook post where someone said that one of North’s nine-point agenda for Buhari is that he should reject Gay agreement the APC reached with the US and Britain before he won the election,” said John. “That sounds more like it because the Nigerian government started having problems with the West after passing the law against gay practice in Nigeria,” said Timi.
“Why must they force it down our throats? It will never work in Nigeria because we are still a very conservative society. They can keep their aid. We will survive,” said Paul.